


Rivers and Roads

by LexiLulu



Category: Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Heart Transplant, Smuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-02
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2018-02-03 05:04:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 39,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1732202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexiLulu/pseuds/LexiLulu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom Hiddleston receives the heart of young man and later meets the donor’s family. Tom and his donor’s twin, Madelyn, immediately find comfort in each other and work to stay close.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

Madelyn smelled the lemon of her tea and sighed. The rain was falling at its loveliest pace, coating everything with a soft pitter-patter. She sat down on her couch, pulled her blanket over her legs and picked up her book - a yellowed classic - and relaxed. Everything was perfect.

She flipped page after page, occasionally lifting her cup from the coffee table for a sip. She reached for it again, lost in the words, and felt it. That feeling of sheer panic in her chest that filled her with an ache that swelled, and she hadn’t realized she’d dropped her mug until it shattered on the floor.

She dug her cell phone out of her back pocket and clicked the number she knew so well, and waited as it rang and rang and rang. The lump in her throat rose as she dialed the next number.

"Mum, something’s wrong with Elijah."

———

Tom sighed as he filled himself a glass of water. He looked at the golden retriever panting and staring at him with wide glassy eyes, his tail dragging back and forth across the floor as he wagged it.

Tom picked up the bowl, filled it with fresh water and placed it in front of the dog. True, the dog was growing on him, but he wasn’t sure why he had it. The animal was a gift from his mother - she thought it might keep him happier.

Tom pulled a banana from his counter and peeled it. A banana would be all right. Everyone thought he was eating healthier because he liked it, liked eating only salads and potatoes with salsa, eggs, and very little meat. Nobody knew his heart was giving out. “Restrictive cardiomyopathy” they called it, saying his heart muscles were too stiff to work properly caused in him by a cardiac amyloidosis. He’d had echocardiograms, electrocardiograms, angiograms, chest X-rays, the whole gamut and they all said the same thing.

All he knew is it was killing him, literally and figuratively. He had to give up running for jogging or walking. He had to give up all of his favorite foods for ones less heavy with salt. He tired more easily so acting was becoming extremely difficult. He’d declared a sabbatical to ‘write,’ but really his family, closest friends, and publicist knew the truth. He was glad he had the opportunity to travel to Guinea when he did because he would never get to go again in his current state. Forget falling in love because what woman would ever want a man who could die at any moment? It wouldn’t be fair to her should she love him back.

He sighed. This was his life now, and he would try to make the best of it while he still could.

His phone vibrated against the counter.

———

Tom looked at the long pink scar that marred his chest into two perfectly symmetrical sides. Most people would call it ugly or unsightly, but he saw it as life. He loved the scar and what it represented, the weight of it always heavy upon his thoughts. Someone else died so that he might live.

Of course the donor was dying already, but Tom still felt the burden. He had been given a second chance at life, and he wanted to make it count.

He knew then as he finished buttoning his shirt that he wanted to meet the man’s family - the man who saved his life’s family - and give them a proper thanks. Surely they would want to know what their son’s, brother’s, husband’s or possibly father’s life had lent itself to.

He called his doctor.

———

Madelyn bit her nail as they neared the cafe. She had checked her dark hair to make sure it fell as it should, tucked beneath her headband. Her dress was green - Elijah’s favorite color - and she felt as confident as anyone would in her situation. Her parents were holding hands, her mother’s hand on her knee her only anchor. Her niece and nephew bounced in the limo, completely unaware of why everyone else seemed so anxious. Her sister held her brother-in-law’s hand, and the thought passed over her that she wished she had someone too. Having someone who she solely belonged to would have made this easier. Someone that could have comforted her and simply held her hand as she buried the person she knew best and knew her best would have made it less painful. Someone who could have lied to her to tell her it was going to be all right would have almost made it believable.

Now was not the time for that.

The car stopped. Her heart was between her ears, the only thing she could hear between the drums. Dr. Williams was on the curb, smiling widely when they all got out of the car.

"You’ve been given an extraordinary opportunity that will change your life," he said, smiling at them all. "I have no doubt you will find comfort."

Madelyn tried to smile but could feel the tears already threatening their way out of her eyes. She held onto her mother’s hand, grasping it tightly as they made their way inside. She would be strong. Her brother was dead, but he would have loved knowing someone lived. She knew this.

But that didn’t make her brother’s passing, or the year that had passed since it happened any easier. The cafe had been cleared out except for a few cameras and the medical team she had met at the hospital. She was searching for the face that carried her brother’s heart beneath it, she would know it.

She did know it when she found it, and she was shocked.

"Miller family, I would like you to meet Tom," Dr. Williams said. "He has Elijah’s heart."

Tom clearly wasn’t sure what to do now, so he did what he does best and pulled the mother in for a hug. She cried against him and sagged, pressing her ear against his chest.

"Hello," she sighed. "Thank you. Thank you for doing this."

"No, thank you," he said, taking her hands and looking into her eyes, trying to convey all of his gratitude. "Without your son, I wouldn’t be here."

She nodded and returned to her husband who Tom greeted next.

"This is Albert," Dr. Williams said. Madelyn watched the exchange as Tom met each of her family members, even kneeling down to greet her niece and nephew who just thought he was a nice man. She felt like throwing up as Dr. Williams made his way towards her, Tom Hiddleston inches behind him.

"And Tom," Dr. Williams said, "this is Madelyn, his twin."

"Hi, Mads," Tom said, not even sure where the nickname came from. She looked up at him with tears running down her cheeks.

"May I listen?"

"Of course," Tom said, opening his arms. She snuggled her head in his chest, finding the right spot and listened to the thump she thought she would never hear again unless she had a stethoscope - even now it matched hers. She closed her eyes and listened to the steady and strong rhythm. He wrapped his arms around her after a moment and she slid hers around his back. She hoped he wouldn’t mind traces of mascara on his white button-up shirt because it was going to happen.

"Have you heard it?" she asked.

"Yes, I have," Tom answered. Even then she could hear the smile in his voice. She decided if anyone should have her brother’s heart, it should be he who was so grateful and happy to have it. He had after all paid for her entire family’s trip to London by train, their hotel and this dinner.

She straightened away from him, spread her cardigan a little wider and put her hand over her heart. “Listen.”

His eyes widened and met hers. She smiled softly and nodded, and he bent over and placed his head to her chest. He heard it - the same thump-thump that his heart now made, and he smiled.

"Even now?"

"Even now," she said.

"That is amazing," he said.

"You know what else is amazing? He used to call me Mads. He was the only one, too."

Tom felt his eyes water and he grinned at her. “It’s been so nice to meet you, Mads.”

"Likewise," she said. "Elijah would have liked you."

Tom grinned and hugged her again. He took her hand and placed it in the crook of his elbow. “Would you sit by me please?”

"Of course," she said.

All through dinner, Tom found himself fascinated by the young woman beside him. She was so warm and lighthearted, and he liked the way her cheeks pinked with the slightest of blushes. She worked at a pet grooming salon, and somehow he found that endearing. She cared for the smallest and kindest of creatures, and he liked that.

He was thinking about her smile so much when she asked him a question, he simply said the first thing that came to his mind. She laughed, her mouth wide open and her eyes squinted, and the rest of the table went completely silent.

Madelyn and Tom froze, looking around their company. She found her voice before he did.

"What?"

"It’s just," her father started before looking at her mother, "we haven’t heard you laugh like that since the accident."

Madelyn gulped. Her happiness was short lived as a wave a guilt flooded through her every nerve. Her best friend had died and she was laughing. Truthfully, she never thought she would be happy again, such a significant piece of her life gone with the car that night. Here she was, laughing, feeling carefree for the slightest of moments.

She blinked and began to sob. How had she let his death get away from her? Her closest friend and brother, the one she shared a womb with, was gone long before his time, and she was laughing.

"Oh darling, don’t cry!" Her mother said. Madelyn hunched over the table, ducking her head and crinkling the cotton napkin in her hand. She wished it were something firmer to provide the resistance she needed to assuage the weight upon her. Or maybe she hadn’t had enough to drink. "Don’t cry. It was such a beautiful sound!"

"Madelyn," Tom said softly, stretching his arm over her slumped back and rubbing it gently. He leaned in so his lips hung in the air churning next to her ear. "It’s okay to be happy."

She sobbed again, burying her face against the table cloth. She hasn’t even known the man more than an hour, and he was the first person to say the words she needed to hear. Of course she knew she deserved to be happy, and that Elijah would have wanted her to be happy, but how could she when he was gone?

"Madelyn, let’s take a walk, you and I," she heard and felt his chair move before she had even registered the words, and then he was easily sliding hers away from the table. As they exited the cafe she didn’t look at anyone but rather her palm, the remnants of the mascara she hadn’t cried off earlier smeared on her hand. The air was cool and pulled her out of her tears. She tugged her jacket tighter around her shoulders, unsure of how it had gotten there. "May I put my arm around you?"

She nodded and buried her face in the man’s side, smelling him. They walked slowly, and he would guide her gently over the curbs and around flowerbeds. When she had gathered herself enough to breathe normally, she pulled herself away from him and wiped her cheeks. Tom stopped and gently coaxed her to face him.

"You must think I’m a nutter," she said, wiping her face.

"No," Tom said gently. "I know this couldn’t be easy."

She snorted and covered her mouth. “God, no, it hasn’t been easy. He was my best friend, my better half — we went through everything together. Did you know I felt it? When he died? I mean, of course you didn’t know that, and it probably sounds crazy, but I felt it.”

"I believe you."

She sighed, looking at the man who stood in front of her with eyes full of concern rather than judgment or disbelief. No one had looked at her like that since Elijah’s death. There had been plenty of concern but none of it, not even her mother’s, had looked quite so genuine.

"Gah," she said. "I haven’t laughed since it happened. How was I supposed to be happy after that?"

"I don’t know," Tom said truthfully. "I have two sisters, both to which I’m close, and I don’t know what I would do if I lost one of them — I can’t image losing a twin. I didn’t know your brother, but meeting you and your beautiful family and hearing your stories leads me to believe he was a kind and wonderful person who loved life. He loved life so much he gave his body so others might continue to live. That’s a beautiful gift, and I will be forever grateful. What I also know is he would want you to live too, as happily as you possibly can. It’s okay to laugh and smile and feel joy. I’ve tried to do that as much as possible since the operation. Your brother gave me a second shot at a life I thought was over, and I’ve wanted to do my daily best to make sure his death was worth it. He would have wanted you to live, too. Really live."

Madelyn nodded, wiping her cheeks as fresh tears rolled down them. The words she had known herself but had never been spoken were finally wrapped around her like a blanket, and she breathed deeply in their comfort.

Fitting, she thought, that the man who now carried her brother’s heart woul be the one to say it, to demolish the pain she’d felt for so long. She wrapped her arms around him, closing them so tightly around his body he gasped. He chuckled and hugged her, rubbing her back and breathing in her clean scent.

"I’m so glad it was you, Tom Hiddleston, and I’m so thankful you’re so grateful to live."

"I’m so glad to have the opportunity," he laughed. "What do you say we go back and enjoy the pudding?"

"Yes," she said, wrapping her hand around his elbow and stepping in the direction of the cafe. "Thank you."

She wasn’t sure if she was thanking him for the dinner or the opportunity to meet him or the simple exchange of words, but somehow she knew he understood. That was enough for the time being.


	2. Two

Madelyn rolled over in the glorious white bed. She felt as if she’d slept in a cloud. She hadn’t slept so well in a year. If they would have let her, she would have rolled over and slept until the end of time.  
But her phone was ringing signaling her mother, so she begrudgingly stretched out of her cocoon and answered, “Hello.”

"Good morning, my love, you sound rested," her mother said.

"I feel it," Madelyn said. "Aren’t these beds divine?"

"Yes," her mother said. "Anyway, I’m calling because Tom would like to meet us for brunch."

"What?" Madelyn replied, sitting straight up in bed.

"He would like us to join him for brunch, and I just thought you might want to get ready."

"Yes, of course. When?"

"Fifteen minutes."

"Okay, bye," she said quickly as she dropped her phone on the down duvet. She stretched until her back popped and then quickly made her way around the room, collecting the clothes she’d left scattered around the evening before when deciding on a dress. She pulled off her pajamas and dressed quickly before running into the bathroom where she applied her daily makeup and quickly brushed her pixie hair into submission.

She felt alive.

A knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts, and she opened it with a smile. “Hey, mu— Tom!”

He grinned and chuckled. “I thought I would come collect you myself.

"Right, of course. Good morning."

"Good morning," he said, dipping his head slightly. "You’re looking well."

"Thanks," she said. "I feel it. You look well, too."

And he did. His dark blond hair curled around his head, not in an unruly manner but one that made him look rather like an angel or a rendering of Apollo. She stared at his feet where he wore boots, black leather and simple, under blue jeans that fit him just right. Above that was a button-up, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the top buttons undone. She noticed the pink line stretching almost to the base of his neck, little dots on either side making it look like a centipede. She wanted to see the whole thing, to touch it, but she knew she couldn’t. 

He was brave.

Tom smiled and offered his hand, and she slipped hers into it. “Did you sleep well last night?”

"Very," she said. "Thank you."

"I’m glad. I know we weren’t scheduled for any more plans, but I wanted to see you all again. You’re all so lovely."

"Ah, thank you," she said. "We’re glad to have met you. I am anyway. You’ve given me a simple sense of closure in one night. I can’t thank you enough."

"And you’ve help me get a better grasp on my situation. My new lease on life. I can’t say thank you enough."

The two grinned at each other, a sense of companionship between them. It was one thing for her family to meet the man who carried her brother’s heart, but it was another for her to have the smallest piece of her soul back.

"Good morning," Mrs. Miller said as she opened her hotel room door, Madelyn’s father right behind her.

"Hello," Tom greeted happily. Madelyn half expected him to drop her hand but he didn’t, instead somehow fingers laced together from their previous cupping position. Madelyn shivered ever so slightly, now nervous as to his purpose and gumption for clasping her so in front of her parents. "How are you all this morning?"

"Doing well," Mr. Miller said. "Thank you, Tom."

"Of course," he said. "I trust you all slept well?"

"Very much," Mr. Miller said. He kissed Mrs. Miller’s head and pulled her closer to his side. Madelyn realized they did more than sleep in the huge bed with a down comforter. At least someone was getting some action and affection.

"Oh." Tom said shortly, suddenly feeling slightly embarrassed. He was suddenly very aware of the hand in his own and how comfortable it felt. "I mean, er —"

"Tom!" Madelyn’s niece, Chloe, charged out of another hotel room. Tom knelt, scooped up the little girl with blond ringlets and said, "Hello, little darling."

She grinned and ran her fingers across his stubbled chin, laughing as she did.

"Sorry," Madelyn’s sister, Jane said. "I think she’s gotten her first crush."

Tom chuckled as he looked at the small girl and kissed her head. She giggled and Madelyn smiled, watching them. Her heart warmed but she was sad her hand was now emptied, its former occupant cradled under her niece’s legs. She couldn’t explain it, but Tom made her feel alive and happier than she had felt in a long time. Maybe it was his grace or his charm or simply the way he cared, but she wanted to be around him.

"That’s all right," he said. "She’s an easy burden to bear."

He carried Chloe onto the elevator and through the lobby and only separated from her when they reached the cars waiting under the hotel’s awning. “This car will take some of you, and I have my car. However you would like to go.”

"We’ll go in the separate car," Charlie, Madelyn’s brother-in-law offered. "It’ll be easier on the kids that way."

"But Tom!" Chloe cried.

"Oh, you can ride with me, darling," he said. "I bet you’ll fit."

She grinned as she was passed from her mother back to Tom. He pulled open the back door of the black BMW in front of a sedan and sat Chloe inside. He easily covered the space from the door to the middle seat and buckled her in with deft hands.

"You do that like a pro," Mr. Miller said.

"I’ve got a few nieces and nephews of my own," Tom answered, grinning at Mr. and Mrs. Miller. "My sisters share four between them with one on the way."

"How lovely," Mrs. Miller said. "What about you?"

Tom held open the door for Madelyn, giving her a brief smile as she climbed into the car. Mr. and Mrs. Miller were doing the same. “Frankly, I put the love, marriage, children thing on hold before the surgery. It’s something I need to revisit now.”

"There’s nothing wrong with taking your time," Mr. Miller said. He and Tom walked around the other side and opened the doors. "Elijah always had a few ladies, and Madelyn certainly isn’t in any rush."

"Dad!" Madelyn hissed. Tom just laughed as he pulled his door shut and buckled in. Madelyn looked out the window and said, "You know what kind of men are in Wales. They’re all too concerned with their teams or their cars or their body parts. It is not something I am particularly interested in."

"Darling, leave her alone," Mrs. Miller said.

"Body parts?" Chloe repeated. "What’s body parts?"

"You know the song, don’t you?" Tom said. "The toe bone’s connected to the heel bone. The heel bone’s connected to the foot bone." He watched in the mirror as the little girl grinned and giggled. She joined him in singing and Mrs. Miller joined in, too. Madelyn laughed as Chloe’s singing soon overpowered everyone else as Tom drove them to the brunch house. It was a quaint gray stone building with vines growing up and along the walls, making it completely picturesque.

"This is lovely," Mrs. Miller said, pulling Chloe from the car.

"Can I see Tom?" Chloe asked.

"Of course," Tom said as he closed Madelyn’s door behind her. Chloe was passed from Mrs. Miller to Tom, and she rested her head on his shoulder. "Madelyn, if you don’t mind and telling them we’re here, they should have things ready. They’ve been expecting us."

Madelyn nodded as Tom helped everyone else wrangle out of the cars and made her way inside. It was more than she thought it would be, homey and warm. The walls were a soothing yellow and decorated with all kinds of things from the past. Vases of little purple flowers rested on every table, and the whole place smelled like comfort.

"May I help you, dear?" An elderly woman asked, strolling among the few vacant tables. The restaurant hummed with quiet conversations and the sounds of utensils scraping across plates.

"Er, Mr. Hiddleston’s party is here."

"Ah, Tom!’ she said. "Of course. How lovely to have you."

"Good morning, Anne," Tom said.

"Hello, Tom," she said, giving him an awkward one-armed hug. "And who is this sweet angel?"

"Chloe Pearl," Chloe answered proudly. "You’re pretty."

Anne beamed. Her face was wrinkled but it was clear she loved life and was well-loved. Her face was kind with wide brown eyes and dark lips, but she smiled with her whole face, much like Tom.

"Well, thank you, angel," she said. "Your table is upstairs. I figured no one would bother you up there."

"Thank you," Tom said. Anne led them up the stairs Madelyn hadn’t even noticed. She tried to avert her eyes from the backside of the beautiful man carrying her niece on his hip as they climbed the steps. Madelyn exhaled and blinked several times. She hadn’t thought of Tom like that at all, and here she was trying not to observe the way his jeans so perfectly hugged his arse and embraced his sculpted thighs. Of course she had watched him in the car, carefree and happily singing to her niece. She noticed his kindness the night before when he managed to politely get her away from having a breakdown in the middle of a lovely evening, and he cared for her genuinely. He was an extraordinary human being, and if her brother had to die to give the beautiful soul life, she could better deal with it.

"We’ve got two chairs for the children," Anne said, "and we can bring whatever tea you like. Coffee’s in the pitcher."

"Excellent, thank you," Tom said, swiftly swinging Chloe onto the booster seat. She was four and not quite tall enough to sit in a regular chair while her brother was slung into a high chair. The others seated themselves around the two tables which had been pushed together. There were more flowers and pitchers of milk and orange juice.

"This is lovely," Madelyn said. "How did you find it?"

"I’ve been coming here since I was eight," he said. "Anne is like a second mother to me. Everything is made in house and to your order."

"That must be rare these days," Mr. Miller said. "Everything is premade nowadays."

"Exactly," Tom said. A young waitress came to the table with her notepad and pen, and took everyone’s order. There were so many choices. Madelyn settled on waffles with strawberries and whipped cream, eggs and bacon. Tom on the other hand ordered just about one of everything, and Madelyn marveled as he made his way through a bowl of mixed berries like she would candy.

Breakfast was lovely and the conversation light, and then Charlie said the one word they’d all been avoiding. “Elijah always liked Manchester.”

Elijah.

Madelyn felt all the eyes but the children’s on her, and she laughed. “He really did. Remember the time he snuck out of the house so he could catch the earliest train, rode up to Old Trafford and sat outside the ground on the pavement all day just to see them? And his seat was terrible.”

"Yes, and if I’m not mistaken," Mr. Miller said, "it would seem someone in the house knew."

Mr. and Mrs. Miller both narrowed their eyes at Madelyn, but she grinned. “What? Someone had to know where he was going in case something happened.”

"But you could have said something before we woke up in a panic."

"He had to be at least halfway there before I could say anything," Madelyn said. "And he was when you finally asked me if I knew anything."

"The Mischievous Miller Twins," Jane laughed, "that was their nickname all through school."

"You were in on it, too?" Tom asked, raising his eyebrows at the young woman seated next to him.

"Tom, you have no idea!" Mrs. Miller said. "They were always scheming. It’s a blessing they weren’t identical, because we would have had real problems then. They would have switched places all the time and we’d have had no idea when they did. They were always up to something."

"That’s why you had two of us together," Madelyn laughed. "Extra blessings."

"You were always a blessing," Mr. Miller said, reaching across the table and cupping her cheek, "and you always will be."

Madelyn smiled at her father.

"You have how many sisters?" Mrs. Miller asked, looking at Tom.

"Two," he said. "We were never quite so mischievous. When our parents divorced, we were all sent to different boarding schools so we only had the summers together. Our summers hold some of my fondest memories."

Tom held the table captivated for quite some time as he spoke of the plays he, his siblings and cousins would write and perform. The Millers shared some of their own, the tricks the twins used to play and some between Madelyn and Jane. Madelyn’s parents would never tell her, but they were so relieved to see the smile on her face. She laughed freely and could finally speak of her brother without tears coming to her eyes.

Tom was a miracle.

The afternoon was spent taking a trip to KensingtonGardens and The London Zoo, since the children had never been. Chloe had attached herself to Tom. So much so, as they walked through the butterfly exhibit, an elderly woman told Madelyn she had the most precious daughter and husband. Madelyn blushed but thanked the woman, watching the two with wide eyes. Tom slung the girl against his hip so she could raise her arm up as a Crowned Hairstreak butterfly with blue, black and crimson wings landed on her finger tip. She giggled as the two of them marveled at its beautiful wings.

After hugs and cheek kisses at the train station, Tom waved goodbye to the lovely family who gave him life and the woman who fascinated him. Madelyn was intelligent, warm, and inherently beautiful, inside and out. She was sad, but he believed she was finally going to try for happiness. He wished her all the happiness in the world. She deserved it.

Madelyn took a deep breath as she focused on the words she wanted to say. She was bracing herself for a fight or at least an argument, and confidence was the best way to ensure she said it. Her parents sat across from her on the train, and Jane and Charlie were next to her. The moment was upon her, and she should say it.

"I’m moving to London."


	3. Three

The fight Madelyn was expecting never came. Her parents had already lost one child to London — why would they let her move without any hesitation? However, her father simply looked at her and said, “Okay.”

Four months later, Madelyn found herself at grocery store, perusing the sweets aisle. London had been everything she had hoped. Settling in to her flat was a task; it was much smaller than the house she’d kept in Port Talbot, but it was in a nice neighborhood with a decent location to the places she needed to go most. She had managed to get back into school with the pulling of several strings, but classes were manageable along with working at a new dog salon.

She added a chicken breast to her cart, knowing full-well it would last for days since companies didn’t seem to realize there were some people who only cooked for one. Why should she have to buy eight burger buns if she only needed one?

She threw in a package of Wine Gums and reached for a package of gum as she approached the counter.

"The spearmint is better."

Madelyn grinned as she looked up, her fingers leaving the cinnamon package and reaching for the green one. Tom smiled at her with a box of crackers under his arm and a block of cheese in his hand.

"Hi, Tom," she said. They managed a hug between her basket and his goods, and he sighed behind her.

"What are you doing in London?" he asked, knitting his eyebrows in a way that creased his skin between them making line across his nose.

"I moved here actually," she said. "Been around for about three months now."

"Really?" He asked, wonder filling his eyes. "How do you like it?"

"I like it very much," she said. "It’s a bit of an adjustment being in a bigger city and all, but it’s been good."

"I’m so glad," he said. "What prompted it?"

"Our visit, actually," she answered, setting her cart on the counter. She took out the few things she was buying, and Tom sat his stuff down with it. Madelyn cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes. "What’re you doing?"

"I’ll get it," he said.

"There’s no need for you to do that," she said. "I’m just getting a few things for the night."

He gently reached out and laid his hand across hers where it rested on the basket. “Madelyn, I want to. Please let me.”

He was so kind and polite. Who was she to refuse a man begging to buy her groceries? She just grinned and nodded as the cashier began scanning her things.

"Cheese and crackers," Madelyn observed, "is that your dinner?"

"I’ve got soup back home," he said. "I plan on an apple later."

Madelyn raised her eyebrows. “A man as tall as you are only eats that for dinner?”

"I must admit," he said, "I burn everything but breakfast, and I had that for dinner last night."

Madelyn laughed as he pulled his wallet from his pocket and paid. Madelyn took the bags but quickly had them taken away from her by Tom. He at least let her get the door, and she took the small key out of her pocket and unlocked the leash wrapped around the poll. The large sheep dog with fur puffed out so it looked like a walking cloud stood when she appeared, the golden retriever next to it doing the same.

"That beautiful dog is yours?" Tom asked, petting its head.

"Yeah, she is," Madelyn said. "Damn Spot."

"You named your dog Damn Spot?" Tom laughed, petting her head.

"She was Elijah’s and he picked the name," she answered. "The only Shakespeare he ever liked was Macbeth, and he decided any dog he got would be named Damn Spot so he could say, ‘Out, out damn spot!’"

Tom’s chuckling abated as he unchained the golden retriever waiting patiently on the pavement next to Damn Spot. “She’s so sweet. I got a few pets in when I left Ollivander here.”

"He’s yours?" Madelyn asked as she stroked the dog’s head.

"Yes," he said. "My mother got him when I took my sabbatical. She thought I might need the company."

"He’s gorgeous," Madelyn said. "Look at that shine."

"I wash him myself once a week," Tom said, petting Damn Spot’s snout. "He likes the water."

"That’s always good," she said, "It’s a pain when they don’t.” Tom nodded in agreement and looked down smiling at the dogs. “Hey, um,” Madelyn said, getting Tom’s attention. “Would you and Ollivander like to come for dinner? I mean, you’ve purchased my food but I can’t eat it all by myself and since you’re planning a magnificent feast…"

Tom chuckled and nodded, taking Ollivander’s leash from the poll. He slipped the grocery bags up to his elbow and slid his arm through hers. “I think that would be wonderful, Miss Madelyn Miller.”

The quick walk of a few blocks to Madelyn’s apartment was pleasant. She opened the package of Wine Gums, and they took turns pulling the candies from the wrapper and eating them.

"So what brought you to London?" Tom asked.

"Life," Madelyn said simply. "It was time for a change. Elijah loved it here so much, and after being here with you I could see why. I’m back in school as well."

"Really? What are you studying?"

"Just getting certified to be a school counselor," she said. "I’m in a program where it will only take me a year."

"That’s fantastic," Tom said, letting his vacant hand fall lightly on hers seated in the crook of his elbow. "Why a school counselor?"

"I was a therapist, you know," she said.

"No, I didn’t."

"Yes," she said, leading him around a corner as the sun started to set. "I worked with teenagers who were struggling with depression, eating disorders, self-inflicted violence, death, divorce, sickness, sometimes all those things at once."

"That’s wonderful. It takes a big heart to help others like you’ve done.”

She looked at him quickly but trained her eyes back to the dogs in front of her. “I had to quit.”

"Why?"

"I couldn’t keep lying to them," she said. "How was I supposed to sit there and tell them everything would be all right when I wasn’t sure it would be? How was I supposed to tell them there is always hope when I couldn’t convince myself? So I quit and took up dog washing instead. The pay cut was huge, but I adjusted. Dogs are much easier to care for than people anyway."

"Why do you want to be a counselor then?"

"I can be a therapist on small matters, but I can also help them with all the good and exciting things too," she said. "I can help them apply to universities or trade programs. I can partake in the happiest of moments and be there during some of the toughest. I guess it’s less stressful than being a therapist to a select few."

"That is amazing," Tom said. "I admire you. I just play make believe in front of hundreds, if not thousands, of people."

"But you affect people too," she said. "You can make them laugh or cry or forget their problems all together, if only for a brief moment. That’s a rare gift."

Tom grinned at her as she led him to a blue painted door, and she slipped the key in the door knob.

"Now, my flat is small but gets the job done," she said. "Please don’t judge me."

He laughed and shook his head. “I think you would be surprised.”

Her house smelled like her — warm vanilla and comfort. A little lamp was on in the corner, and he quickly realized she had a taste for antique things. The sofa was a welcoming tan color, but more curious were the buttons between the pleats. Each was a different color or covered in a different fabric, and the arm chair closest to him was the same style. The throw pillows were vibrant shades but none of them matched. She had a fairly small television but a large collection of books. He wanted to trace the spine of each one and discover her favorites.

"Do you mind if the dogs go out in the yard?"

"Of course not," he said. "Which way?"

"Just through here," she said, leading him down a small hallway. To his left was the loo and his right he assumed was the bedroom, but he didn’t want to linger on her personal space. The kitchen was small but held a table for four, and the backdoor was quickly opened. They unleashed the dogs and let them chase each other through the door.

"Have a seat," she said. "I’ll get things started, but it’ll be awhile. What would you like to drink?"

"Water, please," he says, sitting at the table. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, it’s all right," she said. He watched her as she milled about the kitchen, mixing and seasoning things and chopping. Soon the kitchen was overwhelmed with a smell that made Tom’s stomach flip with anticipation. He stood and leaned against the kitchen counter, crossing his arms across his chest. A picture stuck to the refrigerator caught his attention and he leaned closer to study it.

Madelyn noticed her guest had become quiet, taking her attention away from cooking the chicken and vegetables. She turned around and saw him craning towards the ice box.

"That’s him," she said softly. Tom knew it was. There was so much in their faces that was so similar. They had the same eyes and same nose, both with a large, dark freckle in the middle of the right cheek. He was taller than her by a few inches, but the happiness between them was unmistakable. They were in the countryside somewhere, most likely Ireland from the looks of it, and they were wrapped around each other with the playfulness only siblings possess. "Most of the other ones made me too sad, but not that one. We were on our last family vacation. Jane had just gotten married and we were both graduating soon. He always said that was one of his favorite days."

"That’s amazing, Mads," Tom said, looking at the twins in the photograph. "I had never seen him until just now."

"He got all the looks," she laughed. "That’s what all the girls at school used to tell me."

"Oh, I don’t think that’s true," Tom said, returning to his place by the counter. "I think you’re both very pretty."

Madelyn laughed. “Did they tell you how it happened?”

"No," Tom answered, "but you don’t have to if you don’t want to."

"I want to," she said. "I think it will do me good. He taught biology at St. Luke’s, and there was a play that night. Of course some of his students asked him to go and he loved to support them, so his chemistry buddy picked him up and they went together. The play ended and they were headed back in a downpour, and a drunk driver crashed into them from behind at a light." She paused. "Even though Elijah was wearing his belt, he was still ejected from the car through the window."

Stirring the chicken and vegetables in the pan gave her something else to focus on, and she was grateful for the distraction.

"That accounted for the brain damage," she said. "He was on the ventilator and not doing well, but we got to see him before… before…"

Tom reached around her, flicked the stove on low and pried the spoon from her hand. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him so tightly. He held her again, but she didn’t cry for long, and it was over as quickly as it had started. “They took his lungs, kidneys, liver, pancreas and intestines, but you have his heart.” She pulled her head from his chest as she spoke, and pointed a finger at the place where it beat. “Faster than it used to be but the same rhythm.”

"Nerve damage will do that," he said softly, his arms still around her waist. She grinned.

"He would have found this all so fascinating," she laughed. "That’s why he was a donor. He thought it was so important to save a life if you could. He saved five."

"Madelyn, that’s incredible," he said.

"He was incredible," she said. "And so are you. Our food will burn though if I don’t get back to it."

He grinned and kissed her forehead gently. “You’re incredible too, Miss Madelyn.”

"Thank you, Mr. Tom." She turned back to the food and finished cooking while he poured them both a glass of wine. They took their time enjoying dinner and each other’s company, and Tom laughed more than he had in months. He figured she probably did too, and that made him glad. This life she was living was in transition, and he was privileged and honored to be a part of it.

——-

Madelyn sat in the living room of Tom’s apartment, the puzzle of a Scottish cottage separating them. A month had made them inseparable, and they found themselves spending as much time together as work and school would allow. Tom was the co-producer of a play at the Prince of Wales Theater, and Madelyn’s classes were keeping her busy. A few nights had been spent between books and scripts and cups of tea, and others were spent at the theater or cinema.

He laughed as he couldn’t get a piece to fit where he wanted it, and then he dove across the pieces to grab his phone vibrating across the table. Madelyn laughed and watched as he answered.

"Oh, hullo!" He greeted happily. Madelyn watched as he grinned and his eyebrows knit together. "Yes, I think so. That sounds lovely. Do you mind if I bring someone? Of course, all right, see you then."

Madelyn waited as he set the phone back on the table. He looked at her and sat his hand over hers. “Would you like to meet my mother for dinner?”

——-

Madelyn was almost as nervous as the night she had met Tom. She was glad she’d opted for another dress that morning rather than the jeans she usually wore to class. Tom quickly dashed around to her side of the car, opened the door, took her hand in his and kissed her knuckles as she stood.

"It’ll be fine," he said. "She’ll love you."

Madelyn grinned, squeezing the hand in hers. Tom rang the doorbell and it was quickly flung open by a short woman with white hair.

"Tommy!" she said, throwing her arms around his neck.

"Hi, mother," he said. The woman quickly looked from her son to the girl standing next to him. "Mum, this is Madelyn."

Madelyn tried to smile proudly and happily, but that soon didn’t matter as she was pulled so tightly against Tom’s mother. She awkwardly tried to hug the woman back, her arms pinned to her sides.

"I’m so sorry for your loss," Mrs. Hiddleston said. Madelyn sighed and hugged her wholeheartedly then. The woman, in a way, was thanking Madelyn for saving her son’s life. Madelyn knew what a gift her brother’s death was to Tom and the other lives it had saved, but she was meeting someone else who was directly affected. The gratitude was overwhelming.

"Thank you," Madelyn whispered.

"Thank you," Mrs. Hiddleston said. "Come inside, please."

Madelyn nodded as the older woman wiped her eyes and tucked her son and Madelyn under her arms.

"Tom tells me you’re going to be a counselor. That’s incredible. I hope you’ll treat your students well. Tom had some that weren’t very encouraging. We are very grateful he didn’t listen.”

"Of course," Madelyn said. "Life is too short to not chase your dreams."

"Exactly," Diana said, smiling proudly at her son. “One of my three favorite dreams brought you here.”

Madelyn looked behind Mrs. Hiddleston’s head and smiled at Tom. He shrugged but grinned, following his mother to the dining room.

"Do you have any other dreams, dear?" Mrs. Hiddleston asked. "I do so love to hear about kids’ hopes and dreams for the future. Makes me feel young and alive." Madelyn was going to follow her into the kitchen, but Mrs. Hiddleston waved a hand dismissively. "Sit, sit! You’re my guest. Everything is ready and Tommy can help me carry it all, can’t he?"

Tom laughed as he pulled out a chair for Madelyn but followed his mother through the door.

"Go on, love," Tom said. "Tell her your dreams or she’ll only press about it when she returns."

Madelyn giggled and took a sip of water in front of her. “I would definitely like to see this counseling thing through. That’s one of my dreams. The Lord of the Rings is one of my favorite series, and I dream of going to New Zealand and touring Hobbiton. I think that would be beautiful. And then there’s the usual — husband, children, grandchildren — that sort of thing.”

"And what a lovely dream to have," Mrs. Hiddleston said. "Do you have any nieces or nephews?"

"One of each," Madelyn answered.

"Ah, then your mum can tell you how wonderful grandchildren are," she smiled. She kissed Tom’s cheek as he carried a plate of ham into the dining room and set it in the center of the table. "I love the ones I’ve got but I’m ready for this one to give me some too."

"Mum," Tom laughed, "enough about babies."

"You did a wonderful job of picking out Ollivander," Madelyn said. "He’s a beautiful dog."

"You’ve met Ollivander?" Mrs. Hiddleston chimed. "I read that dogs can help combat illness and depression, and I only wanted the best for Tom in his situation. He’s such a happy dog, wagging his tail all the time."

She said down at the table and Tom led them in a word of grace. Mrs. Hiddleston was just as lovely and attentive as her son, and her food was excellent. Madelyn laughed at the stories of Tom’s childhood and the tale of the first time Mrs. Hiddleston watched him in a sex scene. She giggled plenty and completely ate to her heart’s content.

Tom couldn’t keep his eyes off the girl across from him. She had the cutest giggle that wrinkled her nose, and she was so beautiful. Her eyes were lit with kindness and strength, and he could tell his mother liked her. Genuine in all she did, Madelyn was like coming home to a cool house after a five-mile run in the heat of August. And he wanted to kiss her. Oh, how he wanted to kiss her!

After dinner when Madelyn and Tom finished the dishes, he took her on a tour of his childhood home, explaining the places he’d injured himself or one of his sisters. Finally they made it to his room which was nothing less than she expected. A rugby poster hung on one wall, a South Park poster on another and clothes still hung in the closet. She ran her fingers over the spines on his bookshelf, glancing at the titles as she did.

"I don’t know what I was expecting," she said, running her fingers over the third copy of ‘Othello’ on the shelf. "So much Shakespeare."

"He is the greatest," Tom said, staring at her. They were facing each other, and she could feel the charge. She didn’t know what it was, but it made her shiver from head to toe and flooded her with warmth. She sighed, mustered up all the courage she had in her and kissed him.

She never thought in one moment her life would change so completely. She felt all the things she hated most about herself fade away under the pressure of his lips. All the sadness and loneliness she had been hiding away melted and she felt whole. She pulled away to make sure she was still on earth, a smile playing at her lips, but when she opened her eyes the face next to her was not a happy one.

"Oh no," she said. "You didn’t want that." She threw her hands up and turned to hide the blush from her face. "I’ve mistaken your kindness for flirtation. You know what? I’ll take a cab home. Sorry."

She headed for the door, but felt Tom’s long fingers clamp around her wrist.

"Madelyn, no," he said. "You didn’t mistake anything. It’s not that I don’t want to — believe me, I do — but I can’t. Er, I shouldn’t."

"Why not?"

Tom held her hand and took a deep breath. “Transplant recipients — heart recipients — only half of us live another ten years. One of those has already passed to get me where I am. Let’s say we give this — us — a try, and I get sick again and eventually die. I can’t bear the thought of you having to deal with that. I can’t bear the thought of you having to face again what you’ve been through with Elijah. I can’t do that to you.”

She giggled. Of course he would be putting her before himself, and that was part of the reason she liked him so. “Tom, none of us is guaranteed anytime at all. I could die on my way home tonight. Elijah shouldn’t have died when he did. I’m tired of waiting, and I’m tired of being afraid.” She touched his cheek bone, the sharp line beneath the skin. “You make me feel the happiness I’ve been missing for so long. I want to be with you, Tom — if you’ll have me. I’ve made my choice, be it a day, a year, ten years or fifty. Can you accept that?”

Tom let out a sharp burst of breath but grinned; she wiped a tear running down his cheek. “Well, when you put it that way, I can’t object. Are you sure?”

"Tom," Madelyn said, "I would rather have one day with you than a hundred years without you, borrowed heart and all."

Tom rested his forehead against hers and cupped her cheeks. “You’re incredible.”


	4. Chapter 4

Tom grinned as he rolled over in bed. He was sleeping better than he had in a long time, and he was going to take his Madelyn on a date. He rolled off the mattress and pulled on his track shorts, socks and trainers quickly, ready to run. He felt like sprinting.

He hadn’t recovered to his quick five miles, but he could run a good three at his old rate, and that’s exactly what he did. He returned to his flat feeling the best he had in months, so excited for what was to come. He had been diagnosed and had slowly put everything else on hold, but now he was beginning to pick up the pieces again. Sure, he still had to take a round of pills daily and would for the rest of his life, but he was alive and that was something.  
He showered, trimmed his beard which grew at an alarming rate due to his medication, and smiled. He was going on his first date with a woman — a kind, sweet, beautiful woman — and he was beside himself knowing she liked him for all that he was. Dressed and thrumming with excitement, he drove to her house.

———

Madelyn took a deep breath and rolled on a round of chap stick. Here she was going on a date with a man she truly admired. They had spent time getting to know each other as friends, but then she kissed him. And he kissed her back.

He had planned a day date, saying that it would be too long to wait for evening. Madelyn agreed to do whatever. She just wanted to be around him, perhaps hold his hand and perhaps even receive a kiss…or two.

When he dropped her off the night before, he had simply given her a long, lingering hug and a quick peck on the lips. While Madelyn couldn’t argue that it wasn’t nice, she could’ve stood a little more. The stubble along his jaw was strangely inviting as it scratched her chin, and she wondered how it might feel along her neck or under her ear. She wouldn’t let herself take that scenario any further, but a bit of proper snogging sounded like an excellent idea.

The doorbell rang, sending Damn Spot into a fit. Madelyn shushed her as she tugged on her cardigan and stepped into her shoes. Dashing for the door, she wretched it open with a smile and a racing heart.

"Good morning, Madelyn," Tom said, kissing her politely on the cheek. "You look radiant."

"Thanks, so do you." And she wasn’t lying. He was the stuff of fiction — all long and lean with shimmering auburn hair and a face so resplendent it deserved its own chapter. "I need to let Damn Spot out for just a second if you would like to come in."

"Of course," Tom smiled, following her into the living room. He had become familiar with it in the past few weeks, but as they were now a couple, the air had changed. He could see her in everything, and he could see the places he’d fit into perfectly. Their books could line up side by side and eventually no one would know who the original owner was. The colorful woven blanket his sister had brought for him from India surprisingly matched her couch, and Ollivander’s dog mat could nestle right next to Damn Spot’s in front of the fireplace. He was falling in love with the idea.

Damn Spot shimmied up to him before Madelyn could, but she slung her purse over her shoulder and grinned up at him. “Ready to go.”

"Perfect," he said, sliding his hand in hers. "Are day dates incredibly droll?"

"I suppose it depends on the activities," she said, "but mostly the company."

Tom kissed her cheek as he opened the car door. “Hopefully both are suitable.”

He didn’t know why he was so nervous. He’d dated plenty of women before, but this was different. He was changing, and he knew it was because of her. There was a hope to her, a hope that kept her going when he knew it could have been easier to quit. Her laugh was a song when it graced his ears, and he wanted to make her laugh forever.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

"I figured it was a lovely day for Hyde," he said. "I’ve packed us lunch in a basket."

"You didn’t."

"I did," he grinned proudly, pulling onto the street.

"Well, aren’t you turning out to be quite the charmer?"

Tom reached for her hand, lacing their fingers together. Madelyn was relieved this was not a somber event as she couldn’t keep from smiling. Even though she knew her jaw and cheeks would most likely be sore later, it was a much welcome pain. His fingers intertwined with hers felt warm and welcoming, wrapped ever so tightly.

They settled in for the drive to the park, and she carried the blanket and he a basket upon their arrival. He had prepared chicken salad sandwiches, packed a bag of crisps and cool water for both of them. They sat and ate cheerfully, not even needing to speak. One of them would giggle each time their eyes met, but it was a peaceful, easy feeling.

"It’s a beautiful day," Madelyn said, as she supported herself on one arm. She sat on her heels with knees bent so as not to cause a sensation with her skirt. Tom found himself stretching out on the blanket, his arms folded beneath his head.

"It is indeed," he said. "How does the company fare?"

Madelyn laughed as she leaned across him and rested her hand on his chest. “The company is wonderful.”

He grinned cheekily as she scooted to him. She settled in next to his lean frame, lying with her head on his chest. He slid his arm around her as one of hers draped across him. She nuzzled his chest, settling in the center.

"That is the best sound in the world," she said, closing her eyes and listening to his heartbeat. Tom knew the words meant little, but they struck a chord in him he couldn’t silence. He sighed.

"Madelyn, may I ask you something?"

She hugged his chest tighter for a second before relaxing, and said, “Of course.”

"Do you like me only because I’m carrying your brother’s heart?"

He was shocked when she laughed. She was laughing so much it shook through him, and she sat up and hung her face over his so it blocked the sunlight. She was smiling as she looked down at him, and she traced the ridges of his concerned face with her finger.

"Have you no idea how lovely you are?" she asked, drawing her finger down his nose. "And I don’t just mean on the outside. I don’t like you because you have my brother’s heart. I like you because you’re kind and generous and I literally can’t stop smiling when I’m around you. That beating — here, in your chest — is the best sound in the world because you’re alive. You’re here with me in the crisp air on a gorgeous day and you’ve your arm around me. I feel like anything is possible when I’m with you." She ran her fingers in the fringe of his forehead and met his blue gaze she had watched go from worry to peace. "That is why I like you."

Tom grinned and covered her hand with his. “Thank you.”

"You’re welcome," she said. "Can I ask you something?" He nodded. "Why haven’t you kissed me? Really kissed me?"

It was his turn to chuckle now, but he curled his free hand around her head. “I didn’t want to seem too forward or show a lack of propriety.”

She shook her head, but the smile was ever persistent. She shuddered as Tom applied pressure to the back of her head, pulling her closer to him. He leaned his head up to greet her lips gently with his own. A smile spread across his face as he felt his shirt tighten beneath her palm, her fingers clutching it desperately. He opened his mouth only a whisper, but she was listening as her tongue gingerly tickled his warm and perfectly pink lips.

Before she knew it, she was rolled onto her back fluidly, finding herself ensconced in the blanket. Tom settled over her, arms wrapped completely around her with his legs stretched long beside hers. Madelyn took in the way he felt against her, lean and muscular with stubble that scratched her chin pleasantly. She sighed as his lips prodded hers apart, and he relaxed as he really kissed a woman for the first time in years. She was perfect and lovely, soft and warm beneath him.

Stars spun beneath her closed eyelids, and she hadn’t even realized his mouth was gone from hers. Instead of finding blue sky above her, she found blue eyes.

"I feel like a teenager," she sighed, bringing her hands to his chest.

"I think you’re probably a much better kisser now than when you were a teenager," he said, "but I do feel like snogging in public might be a bit immature."

"Might be."

"But right now," he said. "I don’t care."

Madelyn grinned as he dipped back in to pepper her lips with the sweetest of kisses. He ran his fingertips across her cheek while she cradled his wrist in her palm. 

"I am very glad to have met you," Tom said, "although it would have been better under more pleasant circumstances."

"I’m very glad to have met you, too," she said. "I’m glad you’re alive."

"Me too," Tom laughed. He wound his fingers through hers and sighed. "I never thought I would find this."

"What?"

"Lying on a blanket with a beautiful woman I very much admire," he said, "alive for the foreseeable future. It’s amazing, isn’t it?"

"Amazing," she said. "I never thought I would be lying on a blanket with a gorgeous movie star who happens to very much admire me."

Tom laughed but then flattened his lips together. “Which is something we should talk about — but not here. Would you mind coming back to my house?”

Madelyn took a deep breath, worried this relationship was over before it had even begun. She nodded but smiled when his lips turned up as he looked at her.

"I really like you Madelyn," he said softly, brushing her bangs. He kissed her gently, teasing her lips with the warmth of his own. "Let’s go."

He crawled off of her, settling on his knees so he could clean up the picnic. Madelyn sat up wanting to make herself useful, but instead got lost in the way his skin pulled at his shirt, clearly defining the body underneath. For one who had spent the greater part of a year taking things easy and recovering from a major surgery, his body was still something to be marveled. She sighed as he reached for her glass, his bicep taking on a whole new shape. Tom froze as he looked at her but laughed when he took in her peaceful expression.

"You really are lovely," she said. His famous ‘ehehe’ parted his lips and a hand came to rest against his chest. "What? I’m telling the truth."

"I know you are," he said. "And that’s why I’m laughing."

Madelyn shrugged, finally able to focus on something other than the man next to her. She pulled herself onto her knees and stood, picking up the basket Tom had finished filling. Grabbing the blanket, he passed it to her and took the basket and her hand.

"The company has been wonderful," she joked, swinging their clasped hands into his leg.

"I’m glad you think so," he said. He opened the boot of his car and stuffed the things inside before running over the other side to help her.

When they reached his home, Tom quickly let Ollivander into the backyard and put the kettle on. He gestured to the kitchen table where they had already shared a few meals.

"Are you liking us?"

"What do you mean?"

"Us as a couple," he said. "So far, do you like it?"

"Yes."

"Good," he said. "Me, too. I am however a movie star, like you said. Things could get complicated."

"I know."

"Things have been slow since I’ve taken this time off," he said, "but I’ve an audition next week for a Del Toro film. All the calls I’ve had have been very positive, and soon promotional work for the play will take off. There will be photographers, reporters, amateur twitterers. It will be a lot."

"And?" She waited as the kettle whistled and Tom filled two cups, dropping tea infusers into each.

"And I want to make sure you’re ready for what may happen," he said. "Screaming girls — girls who I hope won’t sink to threatening you. I was jumped once by a fan. Well, she jumped on me at an event where there was security. Sometimes if I choose to go to a cafe, my picture is taken. It’s not always an easy life."

He placed the cup in front of her and sat adjacent so their knees touched. Madelyn squint her eyes for a moment while she weighed all the words he had said. She took a sip of her piping Earl Grey and let her hand cover his.

"Tom," she said, "I’ve already said I would like to be with you, whether you live fifty years or five minutes. I think I’m still in it, even if your life is under constant scrutiny. I’ve been through the worst days of my life, and every day with you is a better one. Bring on the paparazzi!"

Tom squeezed her fingers and ran his other hand through his hair. “Seriously, Madelyn, if it ever gets to be too much, you can always get out.”

"I know," she said. "I’m not worried."

"May I kiss you again?"

"You hardly have to ask," Madelyn said turning slightly so her body was more directly lined up with his. Consciously the move went unnoticed by Tom, but subconsciously his nerves reacted. They leaned in equally, and Tom smiled as their lips touched. 

The afternoon passed splendidly, save the two cups of tea which sat neglected on the table.


	5. Chapter 5

Madelyn took a deep breath with the knock on the door. Tom grinned as he rushed passed her, giving her hand a squeeze. He pulled open the door and was greeted by arms.

"Tom! You look well!" The woman attached to the arms said. "And you must be Madelyn."  
"Mads, this is Emma, my sister," Tom said. Emma was waddling towards Madelyn, her belly protruding ahead of the rest of her. "Emma, this is Madelyn."

"You’re pretty," Emma said, wrapping her arms around Madelyn as best she could. "I’m seven months along. Sorry for the bump."

"Oh no, don’t be sorry," Madelyn laughed. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," Emma said. There was a knock at the door and a screech. "That would be the others."

"Tom!" A little girl shrieked as she ran through the door, her arms open and then wrapped around her uncle’s shoulders.

“‘Ey, Tom,” a man said.

"That’s my husband, Andrew," she said. "That’s my son, John, and my daughter, Kate."

"Lovely to meet you all," Madelyn said. "Your kids are sweet."

"I try," Emma laughed. She rubbed her stomach possessively and sighed. "Tom, I’m hungry."

"I know," Tom said, "but be prepared for a feast. I’ve made for us roast beef with potatoes stewed in gravy, a bit of carrots, green beans topped with shaved almonds and rolls."

"You really outdid yourself," Andrew said.

"I know," Tom said, "but it’s delicious. Being sick wasn’t completely unproductive. It finally gave me a chance to explore the culinary arts while you two were busy making babies."

Andrew grinned and wiggled his eyebrows at Tom. He was a broader man than Tom, a few inches shorter, but his whole face lit up when he spoke. Madelyn decided that must have been what drew Emma to him, and she could see he cared for her as he carried their son on his hip.

"Yes, and as you might have noticed we haven’t stopped," Emma said. "Anyway, mum really likes you Madelyn. She talked about you for hours after you met."

"That’s wonderful," Madelyn said, "She’s a lovely lady, clearly raised very incredible children."

Emma flopped into the chair closest to the oven while Andrew pulled a highchair out of the closet. He set it up as Madelyn pulled plates out of the cabinet.

"You already know your way around this crazy man’s kitchen," Emma smiled. "I will never understand why he spreads his bananas all around and keeps his refrigerator so stocked with lettuce. Who needs that much lettuce?"

"The bananas age differently that way," he said. "It keeps them fresher longer, and it’s actually really smart. And I like my shakes — they keep me happy and healthy."

"My brother, the crazy," Emma said. "But you are eating, right?"

"Yes," Tom said. "I am. I have a plan from a nutritionist to make sure I’m getting all I need and not too much of the things I don’t."

"Is he eating?" Emma asked Madelyn who had set the table during their conversation.

Madelyn nodded and smiled. “Yes, he eats pretty well.”

"Good," Emma said. "I worry about him. Since I’ve had these two little nuggets, my motherly instinct stretches even to my elder brother."

"Thank you," Tom chuckled. He kissed his sister’s forehead as he set the plates of roast onto the table. "Between you and mum and the phone calls from Sarah, a man could never question he wasn’t worried over."

"Better you than me," Andrew muttered. Madelyn picked up the bowls of potatoes and green beans while Tom fluttered around with a pitcher of water.

"I’ve juice for the kids," he said, "and I’ll make tea after dinner."

"Perfect," Emma said, "so Madelyn, Tom says you’re in school."

"Oh yes," she said. "I’m going to be a school counselor."

"Wonderful," Emma said. "Heaven knows there are far too few of them around. Are you excited for next week?"

"What’s next week?"

Tom’s eyes widened. “Something I haven’t talked to you about yet.”

Emma frowned and looked from her brother to his girlfriend and back at her brother.

"I am so sorry," Emma said. "I didn’t know."

"It’s fine," Tom said. Madelyn wasn’t sure it was fine as she had her jaw clenched together and her knee bobbing beneath the table. "As you know, my dear Madelyn, the play opens next week, and I was wondering if you wanted to accompany me. There will be cameras, and I would love to have you by my side on the carpet. If you’d rather not, we can arrive early and you can go ahead and take your seat. That’s why I wanted to talk to you alone — so you didn’t feel pressured to answer one way or the other."

Madelyn sighed. She had been expecting something else; she wasn’t sure what, but this was bearable. This was actually a huge step. He wanted to be seen in public with her as his girlfriend. Which meant there was no denying their relationship. At least she hoped that’s what it was and not that he simply felt obligated to take her because she was his girlfriend. “Yes, I would love to go.”

"Really?" Tom’s eyebrows raised and he paused in arranging the food. Madelyn nodded and said, "Yes, I think so. Why not? I’ll have to go shopping though. What does one wear to these things?"

"Also," Tom said, "they’re opening the new hospital on Friday, and given that it is a heart hospital, have asked me to speak. Would you like to join me for that as well if your schedule allows it?"

"Yes, of course," she said. "Is this what it’s going to be like?"

"Yes and no," Tom said.

"It’s settled then," Emma cheered. "Let’s eat."

Madelyn enjoyed dinner very much. Tom had certainly mastered the art of cooking the perfect pot roast, and the sides delicately complimented. The brown gravy was the best, and she found herself enjoying a couple of rolls just to sop up the deliciousness left behind. Tom was certainly more relaxed around Emma, and Madelyn loved the banter between the two of them. She thought of her own brother and how they could tease each other for hours, but instead of sadness, she felt warmth and a fondness she hoped would only grow. She even liked it when Andrew would chime in on the occasion. The kids ate peaceably, Kate occasionally piping in while John mostly twirled his sliced-up bites between his pudgy little fingers before eating them. She had prepared Welsh cakes for dessert, and they moved to Tom’s living room to enjoy them. John had unceremoniously crawled into Madelyn’s lap and was deeply asleep before she could protest; she didn’t mind but it caught her off guard.

"Sorry, do you want me to take him?" Andrew was the first to notice.

"No, he’s fine," Madelyn said softly, looking at the little cherub face pointed at hers.

"He’s a sleeper, that one," Emma said. "And he’s particularly fond of a nice set of breasts."

Madelyn was glad it was dim because she blushed and Tom was currently reaching over her chest and the child to grab his tea from the table in the corner. Tom’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped just enough for even Madelyn to notice at the awkward angle.

"Babe," Andrew said softly.

"What?" Emma said. "It’s true — like father, like son. Really Madelyn, it’s not something to be ashamed of. Tom hasn’t told you yet?"

"We’ve been dating for a week!" Tom cried. "And I do still have certain standards and a bit of chivalry."

"And I’m not ashamed," Madelyn said. "I just wasn’t expecting to hear that so soon, and now I feel a bit odd to have his head nestled right there."

"You can shove him off onto the couch," Emma said. "He won’t notice."

Madelyn sighed, and slid her thumb into John’s little hand. “He’s okay where he is, and thank you for the compliment.”

"You’re most certainly welcome," Emma said, "moving right past the elephant I’ve dropped into the room, when are you going to get us tickets for the play?"

Tom squeezed Madelyn’s thigh gently before sinking back onto the sofa beside her. “Whenever you like. When can you get a sitter?”

An hour and a half later, Emma and Andrew were ready to leave with two sleeping children in tow. Madelyn had sent with them a plate of cakes as Kate had sneaked two more than she was allowed and was still trying to eat more. Andrew hugged Madelyn with one arm as he carried Kate against his shoulder, and then Emma pulled her in for a tight hug.

"Don’t worry," Emma whispered, "Tom may not have said anything, but he’s noticed. He likes you a lot — I can tell. Take care of him please, and yourself."

Madelyn hugged Emma tighter for a split second, careful of her bulging belly. “Of course. I like him a lot, too.”

"Good," Emma said, "I can tell that, too."

She winked before scooting down the hall to hug Tom who was carrying the sleeping John. Tom hugged his sister and passed off the child, waving as he closed the door behind them. Madelyn had come to his side and smiled at him as he scratched the back of his head and looked down at her.

"She’s a handful, huh?" Tom said. "And since she’s become a mother, her filter is gone. I’m so sorry."

He covered his face with his hands and rubbed his skin. Madelyn laughed and pulled his hands away, sliding her fingers between his.

"I like her," Madelyn said. "She’s funny and energetic, and I can only imagine what it was like when the two of you were growing up, even if you were separated most of the year. You two made me happy. Andrew is nice as well, a bit reserved which probably fits with her outgoing nature."

"Indeed," Tom said. "Ugh, I can’t believe she brought up your breasts."

Madelyn chuckled and looked down at her own breasts, seated comfortably in her bra beneath her blouse. “I mean, she was right. I think they’re pretty nice — fill out my dresses and everything. And I would think they do make a nice pillow for a small child.”

Tom had never heard his girlfriend talk about any part of her body that way, and it caught him off guard. He wasn’t thinking about her breasts as a pillow for small child unless it was his, but rather was thinking about how much he’d like to rest his face just there, listening to her heartbeat and feeling her skin against his.

"Tom?" she said softly, pulling him out of his thoughts. He jerked his eyes from the vacant place they had been and met her gaze.

"Sorry," he muttered, "I was just thinking."

"Yeah, I could tell," Madelyn grinned. She dropped his hands and instead cradled his face, brushing her fingers through his hair. "I had a nice time tonight."

"Did you really?" he asked, copying her actions in running his fingers along her cheeks and her lips.

"I did," she said, "although I do have to wonder if you hadn’t talked to me about the events next week because you don’t want me to go."

"Madelyn, no," he said quickly. "That’s not it at all. I was worried."

"Worried?"

"Worried it might seem too fast or too sudden," he said. "I’ve told nobody about us aside from my family, my publicist and two of my closest friends. I don’t know who you’ve told but I don’t want you to feel like you have to share our relationship with the world yet if you’re not ready. I do realize not much time has passed, even if I feel like I’ve known you for ages."

Rather than answer him, she raised herself onto her toes and kissed him, slowly and softly. She could only contain herself for so long before she wrapped her hands around his head and neck and pushed him up against the wall. His hands clutched onto her hair and the back of her shirt, his lips parting beneath hers.

"You are so cute," she whispered, pressed up against him with her forehead touching the tip of his nose. "You worry too much. That’s probably what got your heart into this mess in the first place."

Tom shook with his ‘ehehe’ and rubbed her back. “I just… I would hate it if you ran away.”

"You know I don’t run, Thomas," she said. "That’s what you do."

"It would seem you’ve managed to get my heart rate up just the same," he said.

"Oh," she said, untangling herself from him and stepping away. "Do we need to stop?"

Tom laughed and seized his opportunity, catching her behind the back and squishing her between the wall and him. She grabbed onto him, shocked by the sudden force but relaxed when one of his hands fell to her waist. “No, we definitely don’t need to stop.”

———

Tom was truly excited. Producing a play at this level was something he’d always wanted to do, and he was profoundly proud of what they had to put together. More than that, he was taking Madelyn with him. He hoped everyone would be nice to her and happy for them and that she would have a great time, and he let out a short breath as he stood on her doorstep.

Smartly dressed in a black suit with a stunning gold tie his sister Sarah had given him, he checked his cuff links once more while he waited, listening to Damn Spot’s barks on the other side of the door.

"I’ll be right there!" His Madelyn called, and he knew she was probably scurrying around the flat trying to get everything together. The door flew open, and Madelyn stood, looking excited if not slightly apprehensive.

"Is this dress okay? I don’t know how formal this is."

"Madelyn, you look amazing," he said. "You will definitely be the loveliest lady there."

Madelyn nodded and smoothed out the ruffles of her black skirt. It hung a few inches above her knees and had several layers of tulle underneath it so it flounced out, but not to the point of a bubble skirt. The straps were thin but she was told by the shopkeeper they accentuated her shoulders, and Madelyn, unable to find anything else that made her feel this good in her price range appropriate for the event, happily settled on the little black dress. She stood a few inches taller in shining black heels and a silver beaded band wrapped around her head.

"And I splurged," she said, reaching back around the door to pull out a red pea coat and silver clutch. "Do I really look okay? I’ve only been to school banquets and hospital affairs — nothing like this."

Tom shook his head absently as he held his hand out for her, unable to take his eyes away from her. Her hand slid seamlessly in his and he watched her slowly descend the two steps. Her eyes met his, and with a slight tilt of her head, she managed a quiet, “Tom?”

"Hmm?" He asked, snapping his head like it wasn’t already aligned with hers and raising his brows.

"You haven’t really said much."

"Oh, er, sorry," he said. He stepped back so he could look her over again and grinned. "I mean, wow. You really look amazing, my darling. Did you have this dress made for you?"

"Off the rack," she answered, holding tightly to his fingers.

"Woo, I mean, er, wow." Tom dropped her hand and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. "You look incredible is all. I wasn’t sure what you were going to wear but you look amazing."

"Were you speechless there for a tidbit?" She asked and curled her lips together. Tom didn’t answer but smiled beneath his palms. "I, Madelyn Miller, rendered Thomas Hiddleston speechless! I’ve done the impossible! Where’s my medal?"

Tom giggled with his tongue between his teeth and quickly wrapped his hands around her waist, effectively closing the gap between them. “You turned out to be quite the flirt.” He kissed her, but only for a moment. “Come, I’ve made us a reservation.”

He took her empty hand and pulled her to his car, walking her around the front. Madelyn laughed as he opened her door for her and shook his bum knowing she would be watching.

"Who’s the flirt now?" she asked as she sat on the seat, elegantly swinging her legs in after so as not to cause an unladylike display. Tom raised his eyebrows at her before shutting the door. He crossed around the vehicle quickly and started the car.

"Did I thank you for dinner with Emma the other night?"

"No," Tom answered, "but you don’t have to."

"I didn’t tell you," she started, "that it reminded me of how Elijah and I used to be, and it felt nice."

"Nice?" He dropped his hand from the steering wheel and held it towards her. Slipping hers in it, she said, "Nice."

"He loved you, you know?"

"I know," Madelyn said, leaning forward to kiss his knuckles.

———

They enjoyed a quiet dinner, and Tom squeezed Madelyn’s hand again before climbing out of the car in front of the theater. Camera flashes blinded Madelyn, even from inside the car. Tom pulled open the door and held out his hand.

"It’ll be great," he said, helping her from the car. He locked his fingers in hers and squeezed.

"Tom, you’ll start in just a minute," Luke said. "Hi, Madelyn. I’m Luke, Tom’s publicist."

"He’s very efficient," Tom said, slipping off the coat he wore over his suit. Luke had his hand out and looked at her expectantly, and then she dropped her purse in it as Tom helped her shrug out of her coat. "If you get too chilled, you can have it back whenever, or you can have it back when we move to the interviews."

"Okay," Madelyn said. She reached for Tom’s tie and straightened it, and he smiled at her.

"You still look fantastic. Are you ready?"

"Yes," Madelyn said, once again finding herself unable to stop smiling with the way he looked at her and made her feel. He took her hand and kissed her knuckles.

"Once more unto the breach, dear friends," Tom muttered, taking her hand and tucking it into his elbow. They stepped onto the red carpet, and Madelyn involuntarily tightened her grip on his arm. She wasn’t prepared for the flashes and shouts that invaded her eyes and ears. "Smile, my darling."

Madelyn laughed and sighed, realizing that her jaw was hanging open. “Sorry.”

"No worries," Tom said. "If it gets to be too much all you ha—"

"Tom, I know." It was his turn to nod now, and she squeezed his hand.

Madelyn lost track of how long they stood in front of the flashing cameras. It felt like seconds as her heart was racing so fast, but she never got cold so it couldn’t have been long. Once a photographer told him to kiss her, and he kindly laid his lips upon her cheek. Madelyn grinned as he leaned to her and whispered, “They’ll want to know all about you.”

Tom had been right about that, too. The first interviewer wanted to know all about her, and they both answered his questions to a point before Tom redirected him to questions about the play. Madelyn found herself growing more comfortable as they walked down the line, and Tom always had her hand, her waist or had her tucked against his side.

Madelyn smiled through his last round of questions, and she felt surprisingly relaxed. They all seemed really nice and none of them had a critical word for her; many complimented Tom on how happy he seemed. He said he owed it all to Madelyn which always made her blush.

"You did well," Luke said. "You were humble, pragmatic and friendly, and that’s a good place to start."

"Thank you," Madelyn said.

"They loved you," Tom said, helping her out of her coat now they were inside. "You were magnificent."

"Me? You were made for that, Tom," she said, "you’re incredible."

Madelyn smiled to herself, feeling quite proud of her accomplishments for the evening. She never stuttered, never gave a bad answer and always looked interested, and she was very interested in the whole process.

"I hope you’ll stand by my side for many more premiers," he said.

———

Tom felt good. The hospital was being dedicated, and Madelyn was going to be by his side. Well, she would at least be present, and he was going to tell the world about her. He grinned as he saw her walking around the corner, and he took the last few steps to meet her.

"Good morning, my darling," he said, kissing her shortly.

"You look happy," she said.

"I am," he said, "and I’m thrilled you were able to make it."

"Me too," she said. He led her into the cafe for breakfast, and then he drove them to the hospital.

"Good morning, Tom," Dr. Williams said, "and to you too, Madelyn."

"Good morning," she said.

"We have you a seat on the front," Dr. Williams said. "Tom’s seat is on stage, but you’ll be able to see everything."

"Fantastic," Madelyn said, "thank you."

"And of course if you’ll stay, there’s brunch afterwards."

"Thank you," Tom said.

A few minutes later the crowd had gathered, complete with more media and Dr. Williams took the stage.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen," he said, speaking properly into the microphone behind the podium. "You may have noticed this big, beautiful building behind me. We are gathered here today to celebrate the opening of Harefield Heart Hospital. Among our distinguished guests are Mr. and Mrs. Gershwin, Dr. Hartnell and Mr. and Mrs. Scott, all our benevolent donors. Mayfield and Sons constructed this wonderful building, and we are very pleased to welcome renowned actor Tom Hiddleston."

People clapped and cheered, probably just excited it actually was Tom as his appearance had not been announced.

"Now I would like to turn the stage over to our benefactors."

Madelyn and Tom played the most diverting game of trying to look interested in what was being said rather than paying attention to each other. To the point that Tom almost missed his introduction, but Madelyn’s widening eyes clued him in.

"Thank you, Dr. Williams," Tom said, shaking his hand and stepping up to the podium. "Restrictive cardiomyapothy. It’s a condition in which the muscles of the heart become stiff and causes the organ to not function properly. I was diagnosed with this very disorder eighteen months ago."

Tom spoke while undoing his tie. Madelyn watched his longer fingers work just as everyone else did, and he slid it from his neck.

"I was blessed enough to receive a new heart," he said as he unbuttoned the top three buttons of his shirt. He pulled it open so the pink line could be seen. "A young man named Elijah Miller lost his life in a car accident, but through his death I was given life. I have met his family, and I know he was an amazing young man. I feel the weight of his death in my everyday life, and I am so grateful for his gift."

"When I was diagnosed, I was given a regiment of pills and restrictions. Living a normal life became more difficult, and I had to put my career on hold for a while. I began preparing for what could be the end of my life, spending time with those I love and enjoying every day for what it was. One evening I got a phone call, and it was the best phone call I’ve ever received.

"Anyone who has received a transplant of any kind knows it’s a very long process of recovery, medications, rest and plenty of prayers. The past year of my life has been spent slowly recovering and finding my life again. I am an extremely optimistic person, and even on my darkest days I never lost hope. However, since having my operation, I’ve found immeasurable amounts of joy we are given on this beautiful earth. I can still feel the breeze on my skin, shake fresh raindrops from my hair, enjoy a plate of ribs and a nice Guinness while watching football game."

The crowd laughed and Tom smiled. “I was given a second chance at life. I can cook and eat. I can act in films I’m genuinely excited about and make art with my very talented friends. I can carry my nieces and nephews on my hips and blow tickle their little bellies. Very recently I realized I could in fact fall in love, and I’ve met the most amazing young woman. She happens to be the last person I would ever have expected to care for, as I am now carrying her twin brother’s heart in my chest. It is a most bizarre yet beautiful world in which we live.”

Madelyn’s stomach flipped when Tom’s gaze met her own, and she felt something shift inside of her. She stared at the man behind the podium. The man she had kissed and held and admired. All of his passion, his optimism, his generosity, and his love made her a better person, and she felt this growing need to keep it in her life. She knew in that moment, she wanted to take on his problems as her problems, wanted his joys to be her joys, and wanted his sadness to be her sadness. She wanted his face to be the last face she saw when she fell asleep and the first face she saw when she woke up in the morning. Was it love?

The logical part of her brain told her it was far too soon to be feeling something so deeply, but the rest of her was screaming it with the realization. Tom now not only had her brother’s heart, but hers as well. She trusted him with it.

"Anyway, all of this to say I would not be here without Dr. Williams, the nurses who cared for me — in particular Nancy, Jane and Annie — and the rest of the phenomenal staff of Harefield. They cared for me when I was at my worst and most vulnerable. They made my situation as painless and successful as possible, so much so that I can stand before you today. I know that with the opening of the Harefield Heart Hospital, people like me who were faced with a circumstance they did not expect or ask for will receive the best care and treatment available. This hospital will not only bring jobs to the community, but also a sense of hope to those who need it. These people saved my life, and I know they will only help enrich the lives of many others to come. Please join in me in thanking them and celebrating this wonderful place."

Tom bowed and clapped, stepping away from the microphone. Dr. Williams greeted and hugged him, clapping him on the back. Madelyn couldn’t really focus on what else was said because she just wanted to hold Tom and kiss him, assuring him she was so glad he was alive. Eventually there was clapping, and then Tom was by her side. Madelyn wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face against his chest.

"Madelyn love, are you all right?" he said after some time had passed. She nodded, the fabric of his shirt rubbing against her cheek, and she held him tighter. When she pulled away from him, everyone else had gone inside and they were standing alone in the cool autumn air.

"I just want you to know how I really do care about you," she said, her brown eyes searching his blue ones. "And I think you’re amazing."

Tom cupped her cheeks between his palms and smiled at her. “I think it’s amazing I found you.”

She stood on her toes and kissed his lips, feeling the fusing of her soul to his. She knew she had crossed into dangerous territory, feeling something so strongly for this man, but she knew there was no one more deserving or worthy of her affections. She smiled.


	6. Chapter 6

Tom ran his fingers through his hair, looking at his suitcase. It was packed but he still felt uneasy, like he was missing something. He was flying to the States for two weeks, a few days in New York and a few days in Los Angeles. He was excited to be getting back into the swing of his career. Acting made him feel alive like nothing else could, and he had so missed feeling alive.  
Of course he had felt alive recently, ever since he met Madelyn, that strong and lovely girl. His hand absently fell to his heart while he rested his other on his hip, thinking about her lovely face. He sighed. It had been such a long time since he had been in a relationship, and they would be separated only after a month of dating. He wasn’t worried she would find someone new or that he would, but he would miss her. He would miss her terribly, having not seen her only four days in their time courting. She was cooking him dinner, and he was due at her house at any moment. He flipped his suitcase closed, swung it to the floor and left it by the door. He was taking Ollivander to stay with Madelyn while he was away — who better to watch his beloved dog than his dog grooming girlfriend?

He picked up the flowers he’d gotten for her at the shop from his kitchen counter on his way out the door, Ollivander merrily on his heels.

He drummed on the steering wheel and leapt from his car as soon as it was parked in front of her house. Ollivander jumped out after him and ran up the stairs, barking like mad.

"Tom!" Madelyn cheered, pulling open the door. "Come in."

He swept her into his arms and kissed her, lifting her to his level. “You look lovely, my darling.”

"Thank you," she said. "I’ve made shepherd’s pie."

"That sounds homey."

"It’s a secret family recipe," she said, taking the flowers and readying a vase. "Passed down from mother to daughter for generations. Which brings me to a question."

"Eh?"

"When we met at the grocery store those weeks ago, you had cheese and crackers in your hands. You said you couldn’t cook, and here you are making roasts and lasagna and all sorts of things."

She raised her eyebrows at him as she stood in front of the oven and crossed her arms. Tom laughed the laugh of a man caught red-handed, and ran his long fingers over his face. “I lied — I had left over stew in the fridge at home. I couldn’t help it. I saw the opportunity to have dinner with a beautiful lady and I thought if she was willing…”

Madelyn laughed, crossed the kitchen and wrapped her arms around her boyfriend. “You’re so smooth.”

"I’m not all smooth, little lady," he crooned like a cowboy, his arms slinking around her waist and skimming her jawline with the stubble of his chin. He sucked her bottom lip between his and gently bit it; her arms tightened around him. They kissed, adding heat to her hot kitchen. When Madelyn was breathless and she was sure her lips were swollen, she rolled out of him and braced the back of her palm against her forehead. "Oh Thomas! The pie!"

Tom giggled at her attempt at an accent of a Georgia Peach but set about the familiar pace of filling the cups with ice and pulling plates from the cabinet. As she opened the oven to retrieve their dinner, he watched her bend over in her jeans which hugged everything feminine in her backside and moaned.

Madelyn whipped around and regarded her boyfriend with wide eyes. “Are you okay, lovey?”

"Mmhmm," Tom purred. "There’s just something glorious about your bum."

"And here I was thinking you were a breast man." She set the pie on the stove and rested her hands on her hips.

"Legs, ass, breasts — it’s all God’s gift to me."

"I’ve never heard you appreciate me so vocally."

"Maybe it’s because I’m leaving. I want you to know how much I’ll miss you while I’m away."

"Well," she said, slipping her fingers into his empty belt loops at his hips. "Let’s eat and then you can show me."

Half an hour after dinner had been eaten and the kitchen cleaned, Madelyn had to pull herself away from Tom’s lips. She knew if they kissed any longer she would be fused to him forever and he could not leave her in the morning.

"Do you mind if we just watch a movie and cuddle for while? I just want to feel you close."

"Of course not, my darling," Tom said. A hitch in their physical connection was the perfect speed bump for the evening. He knew if they continued to kiss, a part of him would get very excited and it would be rather painful to leave it unattended. He and Madelyn hadn’t discussed sex yet, but he knew it would be in incredibly poor taste to spring it on her before leaving the country.

"You pick the movie," she said, "and I’ll get us some more tea."

"Okay," Tom said, sighing as she extricated herself from his embrace. He plucked a DVD from her small collection and popped it in the player, waiting as it whirred to life. Madelyn returned a few seconds later with two mugs in hand and both the dogs on her heels.

"Reach into my pocket, will you?" She asked, turning her hip and presenting him the pocket of her cardigan. Tom’s fingers wrapped around several cookie-like things and he frowned as he pulled them out.

"For the dogs," she said. Both little noses were sniffing Tom’s hand eagerly, and he laughed as all the treats were quickly lapped out of his palm.

"I feel like I should go wash my hands," he said.

"If you must," she sighed. Tom skipped down the hall to her bathroom, and Madelyn laughed as he did. She felt all was right in the world when he sat back on the couch next to her and slid his arm around her shoulders. He stretched his legs out, resting his ankles on the edge of the coffee table, and she pulled hers onto the sofa next to them. She sighed as she brushed her cheek on his shirt, inhaling the scent she knew to be unique to him. He kissed the top of her head and started the movie.

"Mads," Tom whispered. "Madelyn."

She blinked, sliding her hand up to her sore neck. The TV was back on the menu and the dogs were both snoozing in their beds. She turned her head and kissed him sleepily.

"Oh, good morning," Tom purred softly. "I should go."

"What time is it?" Madelyn asked, rather not wanting to lose the heat he gave.

"Just after two," he said, looking at his watch. "I guess we fell asleep."

"Stay."

"Hmmm?"

"Just stay," she said, "it’s only a few more hours."

Madelyn’s brain hadn’t officially woken up yet, and she wasn’t sure whether it was a sleep-addled mind disturbed, the fact she would be separated from her boyfriend for weeks or she was genuinely worried about losing the warmth, but her own statement didn’t seem like a far-fetched idea. “Please.”

Tom grinned and stretched his arms. He yawned as she pulled herself away from him and stood, haphazardly folding the blanket. She took his hand and led him to the one room in her little flat he’d never occupied. She ran to the bathroom with her pajamas under her arms, and Tom pulled off his sweater and jeans, draping them across her footboard. He didn’t know whether to make himself comfortable or to look at everything around her room.

There was a picture of her, Elijah and Jane on the dresser — he’d expected that, but what he hadn’t expected were the notes that lined the large mirror above it. They were of every color, and held everything from lines of books and lasting quotations, to song lyrics and Bible verses. He could have shifted his way around the mirror to read them until the sun rose, but Madelyn returned in her plaid pajama set and face clean.

"They’re just little inspirations," she said. "Some days it’s hard to get going."

"It’s lovely," Tom said.

"You can use anything in the bathroom you’d like," she said. "There’s a toothbrush in the cabinet or you can use mine."

Tom nodded and stepped across the hall.

Madelyn pulled back the covers, glad to be in their warmth. She hadn’t quite figured out the temperature for the radiators in the cooling fall weather, and she was always on the precipice of freezing or burning up. Tom had even tried adjusting them once which just led to a heat wave in her flat.

She flipped down the other side and waited. She watched Tom’s long and lean body as he flicked off the bedroom light.

"Are you sure you want me to stay?"

"Yes," she said, "are you sure you want to stay?"

"Yes," Tom chuckled and kissed the tip of her nose. "Good night, beautiful."

"Good night," she breathed, rolling onto her side away from him. Seconds later she felt his body next to hers, lining perfectly with her back. His arm settled around her waist and his breath brushed passed her ear.

"Is this okay?"

"Definitely," Madelyn said. Tom kissed her ear as she slid a hand in his, and they drifted off to sleep together.

———

Tom had left early that morning, kissing his girlfriend deeply on her doorstep while she stood barefoot and barefaced. Madelyn had a hard time watching him go, but she knew he had to leave. She knew she could accept his traveling, but she didn’t know if she would ever get used to it.

It had been a week since Tom left, and while Madelyn was feeling very productive with schooling, she felt London had been exceptionally gray in Tom’s absence. Not once had the sun peeked through the clouds and most days it drizzled. She was able to focus on her schooling, managing to complete four assignments for the coming weeks to free up time towards the end of the semester which meant she could spend more time with Tom when he returned.

It was an adjustment for her to only receive a phone call or text, and she wondered what it would be like should they continue this relationship.

"Darling, how was your day?" Tom asked.

"Oh, fine," she said. "We started learning the various programs of putting together a student’s time table and how to get a school plan set. It’s not very thrilling, I must admit."

"Well, I’m sure you’re very good at it."

"I am," she laughed. "It’s a bit odd, really — I’m worried I’ll have problems finding a job because I’m actually very much over qualified as is, and completing this degree will only further that."

"You’re a queen among peasants, my dear," Tom said, "any school would be very lucky to have you."

Madelyn smiled and blinked up at her ceiling. “What did you do today?”

Time would have it Tom was headed to bed as Madelyn was waking up, and they had spent all of her mornings this way. Tom had memorized her school and work schedule so he could call her in between classes or when she got home if he had the chance. None of his previous girlfriends had been as busy as Madelyn was, and it was an adjustment for him to get used to. The time they had was precious, and he strived for it to feel that way.

"Couple of interviews," he said, "and Zach has invited me to a barbecue at his place so I guess that’s dinner tomorrow."

"Oh, that will be fun."

"I hope so," Tom said. "I’ve only seen him once since the surgery and that was many months ago."

"I miss you," she said softly, running her fingers through the short hair on her head. "Ollivander does, too."

"I miss you," he said, "and him, of course."

"Will you bring me back something American?"

"What would you like?"

"Anything," she said. Tom laughed, pulling off his jeans. "Like, you’re walking down the street and something just screams, ‘America!’ That’s what I want."

"I’ll see what I can do," he said.

"Thank you," she said.

They talked for another half hour, both of them going about their routines. This was easy and nice, and Tom just loved making her laugh. Madelyn simply loved the sound of his voice, and she hoped he would be able to call her before she went to bed to tell her good night.

She decided the best way to go about their relationship was to treasure the little things, and that’s exactly what she resolved to do.

———

Madelyn checked her skirt and adjusted the little bow tie she had added to Ollivander’s collar. Her house was clean, she’d made pork chops and she’d picked up some lemon crumbles from the store. Tom was coming back tonight and she wanted everything to be pleasant for his return.

A knock on her door had the dogs barking and her heart quickening, and she skipped to open it, feeling rather like June Cleaver.

Madelyn laughed. Her mother had always had an affinity for 1950s American programming, and here Madelyn was living up to her mother’s dream. Of course she had a job and a degree and wasn’t married, but pretending in heels with a string of pearls certainly was fun for one night.

"Hello!" she said, opening the door, expecting a kiss.

"Oh my God, Madelyn," Bev said. "Are you expecting company?"

"Yes!" Madelyn said, "Any minute. How can I help you?"

Madelyn quickly ushered her friend and classmate inside, checking the street for Tom before closing the door.

"I was wondering if I could borrow Smith’s book. I left mine at Richard’s and he’s gone for the night."

"Sure, sure," Madelyn said, hastily rummaging through her bag.

"Is this the man?"

"What man?"

"The man you’re expecting," Bev said. "I’ve never known a lady to dress up this much for an empty house."

"Yes, he’s been out of town," Madelyn said, finding the desired book and holding it up. "He should be here any minute so if you would kindly be on your way, we can talk about him tomorrow."

"What’s wrong with him? Is he short?"

"Very tall actually," Madelyn said. "It’s just a very young relationship and I don’t want to bring other people in on it until the time is right."

"Well you must tell me about the shagging then," Bev giggled. "Please tell me about the shagging."

"Bev!" Madelyn whined, reaching for the door. "Tomorrow, please!"

Bev bit her lip to hide her smile as Madelyn opened the door. “Just remember to use protection!”

"Oh, I always do," Tom laughed, with eyebrows raised and smile wide.

"Tom!"

"What?!" Bev gasped, taking in the tall gentleman on the doorstep. The dogs had rushed over, smelling and licking everyone. "You’re dating Tom Hiddleston?"

"Yes, and now you see why it’s important to keep it as minimal as possible. Don’t you read the magazines?"

"No," Bev said. "It’s hard to enjoy things when you have two children."

"Well, we were at a premier together a few weeks ago, but it’s been quiet except for that. Please don’t tell anyone where I live or anything."

"Madelyn, of course not," Bev said. She turned back to Tom. "Well, it was nice to run into you. Do take care." She hugged Madelyn. "I’ll leave you two kids to it."

"She seems nice," Tom said, closing the door behind her. He grinned as he wrapped his arms around Madelyn, letting them settle on the bow at her waist. Madelyn smiled, her friendly intrusion long forgotten. This was how she felt her best, with his arms around her and his eyes gleaming.

"I missed you," she said, looking at his lips.

"I missed you, too," he murmured, inching his way to her. The kiss was sweet and kind, a rediscovering of mutual fondness and admiration. Tom didn’t want to pull away, so whenever he did, it became a series of short, soft kisses between longer, more arduous kisses.

Tom staggered when Ollivander jumped at his side, digging his paws into Tom’s ribs. “All right, boy!”

Tom let go of Madelyn and crouched to console his dog. Tom laughed as he brushed his fingers along the tie, taking the little fabric thing between his fingers. “I see you dressed up for the occasion, Olli.”

"He was excited for his father’s return."

Tom smiled at Madelyn and swiftly stood, taking her hand. He kissed her again before saying, “Thank you, Madelyn, this is my favorite homecoming. You look lovely, by the way.”

Madelyn could have easily forgotten about the food and stood next to him for an eternity, feeling his warmth beside her. Tom was a light in the darkness, a spot of bright blue in a field of grey. Her soul was forever tied to his, and there was denying it any longer.

"What is it?" Tom asked, noticing her pupils dilated slightly.

"I’m just happy you’re back," she said.

Tom told her all the highlights of his trip, accompanied with some of the low notes. He loved it when she laughed and how she gradually started to lean more over the table, as if she were mad the damn thing were in between them. He kept asking her stories about the salon and classes, just for wanting to hear her voice without the use of technology. He smiled at her while she sat on the counter in her adorable red dress, swinging her legs while she dried the dishes he passed her.

Madelyn didn’t mind the view as he offered to wash the dishes, rolling up the sleeves to his elbows. She didn’t mind occasionally that a drop of water would decorate her skirt or that he didn’t always rinse off all the soap bubbles. She laughed as he stretched out across her living room floor on his back so both dogs could get their share of scratches and pets and kisses, and she was even happier when he settled on the sofa next to her.

Kissing was better than air, better than food, better than water. Tom’s lips seemed to know exactly what to do against hers to leave her breathless, and his tongue was no less of a master. She didn’t mind being beneath him as things got more familiar, and he groaned when she slid her hands to his bum. Madelyn let go of thought when he moved his lips to her jaw and neck, simply being.

Tom was quite enjoying himself, a supple, lovely body beneath him that belonged to a beautiful, endearing soul. He wasn’t even sure she was aware of the little coos she breathed every so often, but he loved the sound. Missing her was nothing compared to the joy he felt having her in his arms, and he was glad they had the time to enjoy each other.

Tom left just before midnight, taking Ollivander and his tie with him. He quickly showered and readied himself for bed, knowing he had a long day of mail, missed calls and emails he’d put off while he was out of the country.

He pulled on his pajama pants and slid into his bed, feeling the warmth of flannel greet him happily. Being home with Madelyn certainly felt better than being away, and he wondered how his life had so drastically changed.

Flopping onto his stomach, he slid his arms beneath his pillow and waited for sleep. He was tired, he knew, after the flights and the lack of sleep while traveling about America, but his brain was wide awake.

Her laugh, her smile, the little mole just above her right eyebrow. Her eyes, her nose, her lips. There was something in the way she laughed, and the way she wrapped her arms not only around his body but his being.

Tom laughed. He was sure someone would think him a nutter if he was heard, and his laughing was enough to send Ollivander into a fit.

Tom rolled out of bed, his chuckles reverberating off the lonely walls. He slipped into his trainers and grabbed his well-worn sweatshirt from the bedpost, shaking his head to himself as he slid the garnet along his arms and over his head.

The air was cool but it felt good on his skin, like a balm to the warmth he felt in his soul. He didn’t need music today because there was a constant buzz between his ears; Madelyn.

Twenty-minutes of quick steps and long strides had him on her block, and he felt tears sweeping down his face from running into the cool breeze. He wiped his face for that would never do, and he knocked.

"Madelyn, it’s me," he said. He hit the door a little more fiercely than he intended, but he needed her to wake up. He could hear Damn Spot on the other side, barking like mad so he knew that would wake her up.

"Madelyn, please," he said, less loudly.

"Tom," he heard her mumble over the clicks of her locks. "Tom! Is everything all right?! Are you okay? It’s like four in the morning!"

"Yes, my darling," Tom said. "Everything is fine. Is it really four in the morning?"

He checked his own watch he’d thusly left neglected to read that it was indeed 3:52 in the morning.

Madelyn nodded, reaching for her boyfriend’s hand, partially to make sure this was not a dream and he was actually on her doorstep, and partially to see if he was sleepwalking, or sleep-jogging, by the looks of it.

"Mads, I know this must seem crazy," he said. "I didn’t plan on being here at this hour myself, but alas, here we are. I know it might be too soon or too scary or just plain bizarre under the circumstances, but I love you. I am in love with you, Madelyn, and I just had to let you know. I’ve come too close to death to take things like love and passion for granted, and I literally couldn’t sleep without telling you."

Tom’s confession hung over them, permeating the distance separating them. He looked at his dear Madelyn, terrified he had terrified her.

"And you ran all the way to my house at four in the morning to tell me?"

Tom nodded, suddenly frozen. He hadn’t expected her to say it back or even to give any hint, but he hadn’t expected her to not respond at all. He felt a pit open in his stomach and he hoped it would swallow him whole. Besides, he knew this stress wasn’t good for his borrowed heart.

"Tom, you’re crazy," Madelyn said, "but I love you."

"What?"

Madelyn laughed. “I love you, too, you nutter.”

"You do?"

"Of course," she giggled, "how could I not? You’re the loveliest and most worthy of love human being I’ve ever met."

Tom sighed and was happy when she stood on her toes to kiss him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him to her. Madelyn melted, feeling his love through his body, how tenderly he moved.

"Oh, Madelyn," he breathed, "I feel like my heart has taken flight and I know not where it’s gone."

She laughed, his collar between her fingers. “Come on in, Shakespeare. It’s cold outside.”

Tom lazily followed her through her door, his legs fuzzy and slow. She tugged him to her bedroom, having to pause several times to kiss him or trail her fingers through his hair.

He tugged his sweater over his head, and crawled in beside her, fitting his body along hers. He slid his arm around her and kissed her ear.

"I guess that was a bit odd of me," he said, "showing up here in the middle of the night. Sorry about that."

"Don’t be," Madelyn said. "It was a welcome thing. I’ve been dying to tell you."

"You have? Since when?"

"The hospital," she said, "that was the first time I thought maybe."

"Madelyn, how could you keep it in? I felt giddy with joy and I just had to tell you."

"I was afraid," she answered, rolling over. "It’s a huge thing, you know, telling someone how much they mean to you, and we haven’t even known each other that long. It’s complicated, isn’t it?"

"It’s true nothing about our relationship is normal. And who says there’s a time limit before you know? Who says there has to be. It’s something we just know, you know?"

Madelyn nodded, knowing Tom would go into an existential rant for the next half hour if she let him. She kissed him to distract him long enough to lose his train of thought, and his smile was unwavering as she pulled away.

"I love you, Tom."

"I love you, Madelyn," he said, cupping her cheek and studying her beautiful face. Tom gladly kissed the girl he was in love with until they both fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Tom tucked Madelyn under his arm, shielding her from the cold and the paparazzi following them down the street.

"Tom! Tom! What’s her name? Tom, how long have you been together?"

Tom rubbed her arm again as he gave a small wave. “We’re just trying to go to dinner, if you don’t mind.”  
Madelyn hugged herself closer to him, keeping her eyes down and making sure her hood stayed over her head. As the time had gone by and their relationship had become public, more and more photographers were following them around. The couple had kept indoors, either at his house or hers, and this was their first date out in weeks.

Tom held open the door for her, and the hostess hurried them inside, closing the door. She led then down a hall and to a back room which was completely vacant, and Tom pulled out Madelyn’s chair.

"Is this too weird?" he asked. "I told you once if this all ever got to be too much, you could get out. I just want to make sure."

"I’m fine, Tom," she said, "It’s just bizarre to be at school and have people following me, you know? No one has really stepped out of line yet, and fortunately for us both, I’ve managed to look relatively put together every day. Though, if I’m being honest, they do make me a bit nervous."

"They make me nervous and I got myself into this mess," he said, "I’ve learned to block them out, but I have no idea how you’re dealing with it. I’m so, so sorry."

Madelyn bit her bottom lip, grinning at her boyfriend. “I think the end result is worth the entire struggle. It’s time I was happy in my own life.”

"Quite right," Tom laughed. He slipped his hand across the table, leaving it open for hers to fit snugly inside. The waiter appeared with two glasses and a bottle of wine, and Tom thanked him after he filled both.

"Did you already order?" Madelyn asked.

"Only the wine," he said. "I wanted you to pick your own food."

"Yes, what can I get you?" the waiter asked.

"Oh, we haven’t even bothered with the menu," Tom said.

"A few minutes then."

Madelyn watched him go and she looked back at Tom. “How much does this all cost?”

"How do you mean?"

"Reserving an entire back room at a restaurant can’t be cheap," she said, "I just don’t want you to feel like you have to spend this kind of money on me to keep me happy."

"I know that, darling," Tom said, brushing his thumb over hers. "I want to. We haven’t had an evening out in weeks, and I was desperate for some time alone with you outside of our houses, even if that meant disregarding the photographers on our way in. We can sneak out the back through the kitchen though, I’ve already cleared that."

"Tom, how scandalous!" Madelyn giggled. "Sneaking out back doors with you spells trouble."

"If only you knew." Tom winked at her before taking a sip of his wine. He opened the menu in front of her so as not to let go of her hand and flipped it over to the page full of entrees. "Get whatever you like."

Madelyn knew it was bad when nothing had a price attached, but she supposed she could let Tom have his expensive date just once. She settled on a filet while he got the lamb, and Tom ordered bruschetta as an appetizer. 

When the bruschetta was nothing but crumbs and their glasses had been refilled twice, Madelyn raked her thumb over the joint of his hand and smiled, staring at the way his hand felt in her hers. She giggled only a little, biting her lips as she stared at his perfect knuckles.

"Darling, what is it?" Tom asked, trying to pull her vision to his. "You look like you’ve a secret."

She smiled as she looked at him, the candlelight catching her teeth. “I just think it’s funny — you and me. I would have never thought I’d be here, with you of all people. I had given up, Tom. I had given up on everything after Elijah died. I wasn’t going to end it or anything like that — I would have spent an eternity with Elijah yelling at me for that, but I was sad and hollow. I was shell of myself and was content to stay that way.” She looked up at him, his eyes watching her intently as he simply listened. “I think you knew that when we met. But meeting you was like finding the smallest sliver of myself, and then we got to know each other, and I felt better — feel better — about everything. I’ve found hope and peace and perhaps a future and I owe that to you. Even if you and I merely part as good friends, you’ve forever changed my life. I don’t think there’s any possible way I could tell you how much you mean to me.”

Tom grinned and stood, dropping her hand. He crossed around the table to her, and she turned to face him. Taking her cheeks between his palms, he brushed his thumbs over her face. “My beautiful, beautiful girl.”

Nothing more needed be said and nothing more needed be done. In that moment, they were alone together and they were happy.

———

"Tom!"

He grinned as the small voice cut through the air and he looked down to see its owner sprinting towards him.

"Hello, Miss Chloe," he said, scooping the little girl into his arms. She hugged his neck and held on.

"I’m sorry," Madelyn said, catching up to them. "She saw you and took off."

"It’s all right," Tom smiled, rubbing the girls back before reaching out to Madelyn. She kissed him quickly as he held onto Chloe, the little girl settling completely into his chest and shoulder. "How are you?"

"I’m happy to see you," she said. "I’m glad you could make it."

"Of course," he said, slipping his hand in hers.

"I’m glad you’re here, too," Chloe piped, tracing Tom’s nose with her finger. "You’re so handsome."

Tom giggled his familiar ‘ehehe,’ and Madelyn laughed as she led him through the station.

"How is everyone?" Tom asked.

"Excited to see you again," Madelyn said. "Mum is beside herself. She doesn’t know how to make things as good as possible for you."

"Pish posh," Tom said. "She needn’t do anything out of the ordinary for me."

"That’s not what she thinks," Madelyn said, “‘Oh, Maddie, have you checked upstairs? Is the room all right? How does he take his tea? Can he use ceramic or do I need to get out the china? Is he too tall for Elijah’s bed? Oh dear, what about the shower? Is he too tall for the shower? We’ve never hosted anyone who’s attended the BAFTAs. What do we do?’"

Tom laughed as his girlfriend perfectly adorned her mother’s accent and tone of voice, even managing to put Chloe in a fit of giggles. It was Christmas Eve now, and Tom had decided to spend it with Madelyn and her family in Wales. In all his years in life, he’d only visited Wales twice — once as a child and once to stay with Sir Anthony Hopkins for a visit. His mother had gone to India to see his elder sister, Emma had gone with Andrew’s family, and his father was in the Bahamas for a season. He suspected the old gentleman was following a younger lady love.

"We’ll be going to church tonight," Madelyn said, "but you can stay at home of course if you don’t want to bother with the crowds. My father said he would condone that given your current celebrity status."

"I’ll go," Tom laughed. "The Lord is much more worthy than I."

Madelyn grinned, opening the back door of the car. “Miss Chloe just had to come with me to pick you up.”

"I did," Chloe cheeped. "I wanted to be the first to hug him."

"And you were, little angel," Tom said, sitting her in the booster seat. He strapped her in and shut the door, thankful to have just one moment with Madelyn. He smiled at her, brushing a bit of bangs that had fallen disorderly from her hat.

"I’m sorry," she said, "this isn’t exactly how I planned our reunion going."

"It’s fine, lovey," Tom said, pulling her against his chest. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too," she said. She kissed him, her heeled boots making the distance less. Tom tightened his grip on the small of her back, feeling like there was too much space between them. Of course, bulky winter jackets were separating their bodies, and Tom began to hate the layers of fleece and cotton. Madelyn laughed and pulled away as muffled shouting seeped through her ears, and she and Tom both looked at Chloe who was screaming in the backseat.

Tom opened the passenger door and grinned.

"You were kissing Aunt Maddie," she said.

"I was," Tom said.

"I think that’s wo-mantic."

"It is wo-mantic," Madelyn said, climbing into the driver’s seat. "Sorry to have kept you waiting. Why were you shouting?"

"Because it’s cold," Chloe said. "And I want a kiss."

Tom stretched over the seat and kissed her forehead. “One day, little angel, you will get all the kisses in the world.”

She giggled, closed her eyes and buried her cheek against her shoulder.

"I’m amazed she likes you so much," Madelyn said,

"Are you really?" Tom joked, reaching his hand across the distance between their seats and resting his hand on her thigh.

The drive to Madelyn’s childhood home was pleasant; Tom sang Christmas carols with little Chloe who more or less shouted them.

"Don’t be nervous," Tom whispered, "I’ve already met them all before."

He kissed her cheek before climbing out the car to fetch his bags and Chloe. Madelyn took Chloe from him, much to the child’s protest, and opened the red door.

"Here!" Chloe called, and suddenly the hall was full of people. Tom laughed as arms wrapped around him from every direction in a hug.

"Oh Tom," Mrs. Miller said. "We’re so happy to have you."

"Thank you. I’m chuffed to be here." Mrs. Miller smiled widely, and Tom thought her eyes were watering just the slightest.

"Well, let’s take your things upstairs. Madelyn, do you mind showing him?"

"Of course not," she answered, taking Tom’s hand. "We’ll be back."

Tom laughed as Madelyn emphatically pulled him up the stairs, moving quickly up them. They made it up one flight which let to a hall, and then it was to the door at the very end.

"You don’t mind ladders, do you?"

"Not at all," he said, amazed as Madelyn whipped open the door to a linen closet with a set of rungs ascending. He followed her up as she moved assuredly, and then he popped his head up.

"It was Elijah’s," she said, standing up. She had no problem straightening up, but he knew he would hit his head if he wasn’t careful. Tom lifted himself into the space, studying it.

"Made all the furniture himself," she said, crossing her arms against her chest as she turned around. "He wanted to be sure he could fit it all."

Tom heard the smile in her voice, and he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

"Mum got new bedding of course — didn’t want anyone to sleep in what used to be a teenage boy’s room." She chuckled. "Dad painted, too, but everything else is Elijah."

"Madelyn," Tom said softly before kissing the side of her face. "I love you."

She sighed and sank against him, resting her head on his chest. They stood pressed together for several long and luxurious moments, and Tom looked around the room.

"You two aren’t getting at it up there, are you?" Jane called from the stairs.

"No, silly!" Madelyn said.

"Good," she said. "I wanted to come up and say hello."

She scooted behind Tom in their hug and wrapped her arms around them. “I don’t even know you, Tom, but I love you.”

Tom laughed and let go of Madelyn to hug her sister. “Oh, I hope we get to know each other very well.”

Jane sighed as she hugged him tightly, closing her eyes and breathing him in.

"Hey now," Madelyn said. "He’s my boyfriend."

Jane chuckled and opened her eyes, locking her arms more tightly around his waist. “I know, kid, but he smells so good.”

Tom chuckled the laugh Madelyn knew meant he felt slightly awkward, and she shook her head. Jane pulled away and shrugged. “Well, I suppose I’ll leave you two to it. See you downstairs in a bit.”

She scurried down the ladder and Madelyn fell onto the bed with a resigned sigh. “Sorry about her.”

Sitting on the edge of the bed next to her, Tom laughed and clapped her knee where it hung off the bed.

"I don’t mind," Tom said. "As I seem to recall, you like the way I smell too."

Madelyn laughed and rolled her neck so she could see him. “I do. There’s something very you in the way you smell and that’s very nice. You smell like warmth and love and manliness and all that’s right in the world.”

"I’ll have to send Armani your compliments."

"Tom, you know that’s not it." She giggled.

He stretched out on his back next to her and stretched his hand over hers. Sliding her fingers through his, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"We’re going to be all right, aren’t we?"

Tom’s fingers tightened around hers, and he kissed her forehead. “I certainly hope so, my darling.”

Madelyn and Tom sneaked up the balcony for the Christmas Eve service and sat in the very back corner, hoping to avoid any eyes that might notice his appearance. Matthew had a solo so the rest of the family managed spots on the crowded third row. As people shuffled past Tom, he was quite glad he’d been out of the spotlight for some time and that he’d let his hair and beard grow a bit longer than he traditionally kept them. He didn’t want his first Christmas Eve spent with Madelyn’s family spoiled by a rush of notoriety, but a fan or two he didn’t mind. Madelyn held his hand all through the service, even letting her head fall to his shoulder. She was never one for public displays, but here in the dim corner of the aged church she didn’t seem to mind. Of course Christmas was the time for love and to feel love and give love, and Tom felt his love for her in every piece of his being.

His chuckle snapped Madelyn’s head from his shoulder and she looked at him with a furrowed brow. He shook his head but smiled, and she raised her eyebrow, the slightest tick sending the corner of her lip upwards. She resumed her place on his shoulder, and Tom sighed. When it was time for Matthew’s solo, she leaned forward on the edge of her seat and rested her chin on her palms, her elbows on her knees. Tom had never seen her sit so intently before, and when Matthew opened his mouth, he understood. Matthew was one of those truly gifted singers. His voice was deep and melodic, and the words of “O Holy Night” carried seamlessly through the vaulted ceilings.

"That was incredible," Tom whispered when Matthew finished, and Madelyn simply nodded. Tom held his candle steadily while Madelyn borrowed the flame, and she smiled at the way the flickering light captured his face, casting the most beautiful shadows across his lovely skin. Madelyn would have kept the flames between them had the old woman next to her not cleared her throat so loudly it caused Madelyn to jump. Tom slid his arm around her waist as they raised their candles to the last stanza and verse of "Silent Night," and he noticed Madelyn wiping her cheek.

"That song with the candles always makes me feel hopeful a bit," she said. "It always has. And sometimes, it makes me weepy."

Tom grinned and helped her quickly down the stairs — their plan had been to duck out as soon as possible to avoid a crowd. “It was beautiful, just like you, my darling.”

"Ho, ho, ho," Madelyn laughed, "aren’t you funny?"

"Well, yes," Tom grinned cheekily. They had managed to steal away across the parking lot and were now in front of her father’s car, waiting. Madelyn slapped Tom’s chest lightly and laughed as he looped his arms around her and pulled her close. He kissed her softly, moving his mouth against hers. Madelyn sighed as she leaned into him, lifting herself up on the toes of her boots.

"There’s no mistletoe ‘round here," Mr. Miller said, and Tom grinned at the blush he could see spreading across his love’s face. "Now get in! We’ve got pudding to eat!"

Tom held the door open for everyone when they returned to Madelyn’s home and everyone quickly got dinner ready. The turkey was pulled from the oven while Madelyn made mashed potatoes. Tom was asked to set the table as that had always been Elijah’s job. The meal came together quickly, and Tom was reminded of their first meal all those months ago. This one felt better though, like everyone was at peace. Their first meal had been a resolution, a quest for closure, but this meal was warm and complete, and Tom smiled as he ate. Leaving his hand on her thigh, he ate and laughed.

Madelyn found herself alone in the kitchen with her mother after dinner, washing the dishes while her mother dried. Everything had already been dumped out or placed in plastic containers and stacked in the refrigerator, and she smiled as she ran the sponge across a plate. Somehow she and Tom often found themselves in the same routine, and she never thought a chore could feel so special.

"What is it, little one?"

"Just thinking."

Mrs. Miller smiled and put a damp hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “I know that smile. Tom is a wonderful man.”

Madelyn blushed.

"It’s okay, sweetheart," Mrs. Miller said. "I never wanted to lose Elijah. I never want to lose any of you. You were my babies, and I carried you and loved you and fought for you and protected you, and I will continue to do those things for you and your sister until I am no longer living. And of course that goes for the little loves your sister has given us, but if Tom being a part of our family is a result of Elijah’s death, then I can bear it. Your brother was a huge source of worry for me, always wanting to go on adventures and para-sailing and ski jumping and jumping out of planes, but I always loved him, and I always will. He died after watching his students, doing something he loved, and he felt no pain. I am grateful for that. You, however, are my beautiful daughter and you’re alive and living and so full of love it makes me feel so much better, Madelyn. You’re my world, and I long for you to be happy and healthy — that’s all any parent wants — and if Tom is your world, don’t hold back, darling. You deserve every bit of everything good, and I want you to remember that. Please remember that."

Madelyn was frozen, holding the pan with one hand and the sponge with the other. She’d stopped washing after her mother’s second sentence, and she dropped them back into the sudsy water. Water flung across the kitchen as she wrapped her arms around her mother’s neck and said, “I will remember that, mum. I will.”

Tom helped out, too, holding the frame of the small purple bicycle Mr. and Mrs. Miller had purchased for Chloe. Santa would be delivering it in the night, but Mr. Miller had to help him assemble and Tom had been enlisted as well. They each had a glass of whiskey from the bottle Tom had supplied, and Mr. Miller seemed quite at his leisure as he twisted screws and tightened bolts into place. He had made Tom laugh, and Tom was happy to be here if not with his own family. He enjoyed being around regular people who treated him no differently, and those people were few and far between outside of his immediate family and closest friends.

"What’s your family up to now? Don’t care much for Christmas?"

"No, they do actually," Tom answered. "My elder sister moved to India so my mum went to visit her and her family, and my younger sister went to her husband’s family. My dad is enjoying the sun on an island, I think perhaps with a new girlfriend, and here I am. It has been wonderful. Your family is beautiful."

"Thank you," Mr. Miller grinned. "The missus and I try."

He fussed over a spanner for a few minutes, flicking through the instruction booklet. “You returned our Maddie to us, did you know that?”

"No, I didn’t."

"Yes," Mr. Miller said. "She and Elijah were always up to something. Rambunctious duo, of course. Madelyn was the more reserved of the two, but it took his guts and her brains to make the magic happen." He stopped and sat up, starting to test the bolts he’d already secured. "It’s hell, losing a child, and it’s even worse watching one of your children fade away. Madelyn slowly began to curl up, like a flower wilting before it had a chance to bloom. But with you, I see her again. She’ll never be the same, no — none of us will — but she’s better with you. Going back to school had to do with you, you know? You inspired her since you never lost hope, even as your heart was giving out, and that’s something she’s really good at — helping people. And to think she’s been on dates and laughing, oh! You’re the miracle any father could hope for."

"Thank you, sir. I care deeply for your daughter."

"I know it," Mr. Miller said, "and I’m glad. And I’m glad you could be here. You’re a good man with a thirst for life, and that’s something my dear Madelyn needs."

Tom took a deep breath and looked at the man who sat on the floor next to him. He could see so much of her in his face — the eyes, the hair, the slight curve at the tip of his nose — he found the courage he needed.

"Actually, there is something I wanted to ask you."


	8. Chapter 8

"Tom, they’re at my house!"

"Who is, my darling?"

"The paparazzi," Madelyn answered, peeking out the blinds. There were three of them on the curb, all with cameras boasting long lenses. "They’re out here."

"What? How many?"  
"A few out front," she said, walking through her small flat to the backdoor. "And there’s one peeking over the back fence."

"Christ," he sighed. "I’ll be over shortly. I’m sending Luke over, too."

Madelyn closed the blinds and paced down the hall.

"I’m so sorry, Madelyn," Tom said softly. "I’ll take care of this."

Madelyn knew she should have responded with some consolation to her boyfriend, but she couldn’t do it. She could handle the photographers when they were out together or when she was at school, but having people camped outside her home was not something she was prepared for. Tom had a nice house in a gated community, and she lived in a simple flat on the street with no security. She sighed, “I’ll see you in a bit.”

Madelyn set the phone on the table and paced down the hall, Damn Spot’s barking driving her mad. She was glad the dog knew when strangers were around, but she couldn’t handle the barking that had woken her. She couldn’t put the dog outside either because there would be paparazzi ready to take her picture. How good were their lenses? How much could they see? How long had they been out there, and how long were they planning on staying? They weren’t actually on her property, so she knew there couldn’t be anything done legally. She had told Tom she could handle it, but if this was to be a recurring thing, how long could she grin and bear it?

Tea. Tea always helped, so she filled the kettle with water. Flinging it onto the stove and turning the nob, she tried to breathe. Sinking against the wall, she held the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes, trying to think of Tom. A knock on the door pulled Madelyn out of her panic, and she heard the water bubbling. Peeping through the small eye hole on the door, she hid behind it as she pulled it open, letting Luke inside.

"Oh my God, Madelyn! I have no idea how they found you," he said. He had a bag flung over his shoulder and he stuck his hand out to let Damn Spot smell it. "Tom’s on his way. I think we have a couple of plans of action to take. Have any of them harassed you or come to your door or tapped on your windows?"

"No," she said, "Luke, slow down. You’re stressing me out."

Luke stopped curling his fingers against his palms and looked at her. “Right, sorry. I knew this would happen at some point. I just thought it might happen when Tom started filming again.”

The kettle whistled and Madelyn rushed away. “Come have some tea.”

She took three cups from the pantry and filled them, passing one to Luke. “Oh Madelyn! Your hands are shaking.”

"Of course they are," she said, "I’m terrified."

"Right," Luke said. "What can we do? Are you okay? Do you want to leave him? He would understand. He wouldn’t like it, but he would understand."

"No, I don’t want to leave. I just don’t know what to do."

"We’ll figure this out," Luke said. "Do you trust me?"

"If Tom trusts you." Luke nodded absently and pulled out one of her kitchen chairs. He dug through his bag and pulled out a notebook, and then there was another knock on the door. Madelyn quickly let Tom inside and locked the door behind him. Tom wrapped his arms around her and held her, unsure of what to do. Madelyn reciprocated it, burying her face against his chest and flinging her arms tightly around his neck.

"Oh my darling," Tom said softly, "I’m so sorry about this."

"Well, I’ve made tea," she said. "Let’s talk."

"Thank you for coming," Tom said, pulling out the chair Madelyn preferred when they ate dinner. "I don’t know what to do."

"We’ll think of something together," Luke said. "You don’t have a dog door or anything like that, do you?"

"No," Madelyn said, "land lord wouldn’t allow it. Guess I should thank her for that."

"Indeed," Luke said, "is everyone okay? Did anyone interact with them?"

"I haven’t," Madelyn said.

"I greeted them as I came in," Tom said, dropping his hand over Madelyn’s. "I was merely being cordial. They didn’t seem that pushy."

"Looks like we have the few pleasant ones," Luke said. "It’s only a matter of time before the unpleasant ones find you."

"What do we do?"

"There are options," Luke said. "Ignore them. If they come onto the property, call the police immediately. If they harass you or make you feel uncomfortable in anyway, call the police immediately."

"Yes, I had figured as much," Madelyn said. "Are we going to do anything about those out there now? Or in the future?"

"Your options now are to ignore them or to pull a Royal Family and greet them."

"And in the future?" Madelyn asked.

"Move in with me," Tom said. Madelyn froze, his hand feeling heavy over hers.

"I’ll step into the other room," Luke quickly dismissed himself.

"Not today, not tomorrow," Tom said, "but when you need to. It’s only going to get worse and I want you safe and feeling like you don’t have to worry. You can have your own room — your own wing even! Move in with my mum, with Emma, just don’t stay here if you don’t feel safe."

"Tom, I… I don’t know."

"I’m not saying you have to," he said, "just think of it as an option. I live in a gated community. They can’t get in and don’t bother me at home. I don’t want this to be a problem for you."

"But moving in?"

"Your own room, your own closet, we could be like roommates who kiss on the occasion."

"But you’re not asking yet?"

"No," Tom said, "I’m not asking yet. But if you want me to ask in future, for your safety, know that it is an option."

Madelyn sighed and leaned away from him. She loved Tom but she wasn’t sure about moving in with him so soon. She’s never lived with a man before and wasn’t sure how that would work out, or if Tom would tire of her more easily that way. Although, she thought, if he tired of her that quickly, they shouldn’t be together anyway.

"I’ll think about it, Tom. I will."

"Thank you. If I ever thought you couldn’t live a life in the comfort of your own home, Madelyn, I… I…"

"Tom," Madelyn said, "I don’t care for them being at my house but it certainly doesn’t scare me away from you. I don’t care for them taking my picture, but that doesn’t lessen what I feel for you." She sighed as she stood, crossing the kitchen to the sink. "I don’t enjoy having my picture taken — it actually makes me anxious. And now they’re at my house, Tom!"

Tom stood but kept his distance, not wanting his girlfriend to feel threatened. “Why haven’t you told me any of this before?”

"Because it comes so naturally to you, Tom," Madelyn said. "You have a gift for being in front of people, and I would never want to lessen that or not celebrate it. It’s wonderful and beautiful and one of the things I love most about you, but that is not a gift I have. It’s not a gift I have at all. I’ve spent every year since I was a young girl knowing exactly what my flaws are — physical and mental — and what happens when I get caught? You’re perfect, and even the things about you that aren’t make you that much more lovable. And for whatever reason, you’ve picked me. I know what people say and I know what people will say, and I try to put on a brave face for you but it’s hard. And now they’re here, in my personal space. Heaven forbid I get a pimple!"

Tom chuckled lightly, earning a death stare from his dear Madelyn.

"Tom, it’s not funny. I am so painfully aware of everything that’s wrong with me, and it’s only a matter of time before the cameras notice, and then what will happen when you do?"

"When I do what?"

"When you notice all the things that are wrong with me."

Madelyn finally looked up, and she sighed. The look on Tom’s face was one she couldn’t decipher — his eyes were watering, and his lips were parted and he looked sad yet enraged.

"My God, Madelyn!" Tom said, clasping her shoulders between his palms, probably underestimating his grip. "Why have you never told me this before?"

Madelyn just shook her head, dropping her eyes.

"Darling, look at me. Look at me, please. Madelyn, please."

Ashamed, afraid, anxious. That was how Madelyn felt, but looking up at Tom made her question why she felt like that at all. “Madelyn, you are beautiful. You are, and I’ll say it until you believe me, even if I have to say it a hundred times a day. Just as you see me, your flaws make you better, and you’re like an enigma for me to solve. I love that about you, and I love your genuine, nurturing nature. You are love, Madelyn, and I’ve never known anything better.” He took her hands in his. “Madelyn.”

"Tom."

"Madelyn, do you believe me?" Tom waited as she scrunched up her face, making one of the most adorable faces he’d ever seen. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes.

"No, but I can try."

"Thank you, darling," he said. "Now, if the moving in thing freaks you out, let’s not dwell upon it. There are photographers right outside your house. What are we going to do about them?"

"Say hello?"

"You want to say hello?"

"At least these seem friendly. They haven’t bothered me yet."

"They’re going to get money off of it though. You’re okay with that?"

"Maybe if we give them what they want they’ll leave us alone. Let me go change."

Tom filled the kettle all the way to the top and placed it on the stove while Madelyn disappeared into her bedroom.

"What’s the plan?" Luke asked.

"We’re going to go say hello," Tom said. "I guess Madelyn just decided she would rather have everything out in the open. And at least you’re here now to keep everything under control."

"Tom?" Madelyn called, holding her dress around chest. She opened the door just a bit for him, and she smiled. "Can you zip me up?"

"Of course," Tom said.

"Y’know you don’t have to hide behind the door," Luke said. "I’m not interested in you or any woman for that matter."

Madelyn giggled but pulled Tom in her room with her. He looked over her shoulder as she turned around and stared.

"What? What is it?"

"That’s your closet?"

"You’ve never seen it?"

"My God, little woman," he said. "I’ve never seen so many clothes and I’ve been on movie sets with Jennifer Lawrence and Natalie Portman."

Come to think of it, Tom had never seen her wear the same outfit twice, aside from her favorite jumper and one of his he’d lent her.

"A girl starts to matriculate," Madelyn answered. "And don’t get me started on my shoes!"

"I can see your collection has spilled onto the floor," Tom said. "I have two sisters and I don’t think they have that many shoes combined."

"My feet stopped growing when I was twelve," Madelyn said. "That’s a long time to collect wonderful shoes. And I know you have about four pairs you fancy and you’re fine with that. I really only fancy about eight of mine, but sometimes a good shoe can change your whole life — look at Cinderella."

Tom sighed, seeing Madelyn’s demeanor change when she talked of shoes. If shoes were what it would take, he could buy shoes. He quickly slid the zipper up her back and kissed her neck, sending visible shivers through her body.

"I like it when you kiss me there."

"I like kissing you there," Tom said. "Maybe later we can give it a real go."

"One thing at a time, my good man," Madelyn said, stepping away from him and into her pile of shoes. "Which pair?"

"Those red and white ones are nice."

"Good choice, Mr. Hiddleston," she said, slipping her feet inside one before setting the other upright. She slipped it on her foot and straightened the skirt of her dress. "Let’s see how you are with accessories."

Tom looked at her dresser, cluttered with shining things. He scratched his head, knowing with two sisters he should be better at this. Tom picked up silver chains and beaded chains and long chains and short chains before settling on a gold chain with a pendant hanging from it. It was a tree inside a circle, and Tom held it in his palm. Madelyn picked her watch up from the corner and fastened it around her wrist, looking at the necklace Tom had.

"What a lovely choice," Madelyn said, leaning against his side. "Daddy bought it for me after the funeral. He bought us each something and he thought this one fit me best. Elijah knew anything and everything there was to know about trees, but it also symbolizes life, hope and renewal. Funny you should pick that one out."

Tom held the chain in his fingers. “That’s one of the loveliest things I’ve ever heard. Let me put it on.”

Madelyn turned her back to him as Tom draped the chain around her neck. Tom had never helped her dress in any capacity, but she for a moment thought of their possible future. Tom kissed her neck again, and Madelyn giggled before she took him up on his previous offer.

"Now I need my coat and your arm and we can go face the blindness before us."

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"If I am to be ambushed in my own home, I at least want to say how I look. How do I look?"

"Amazing," Tom said, sweeping her into his arms. "Incredible. Lovely. Cheeky but kind." He punctuated each word with a kiss, and a whistle pulled him away.

"That’s the kettle!" Luke said.

"What’s happening with the kettle?"

"I’m making tea."

"For who?" Madelyn asked.

"Them."

"You’re making tea for the photographers?"

"Well, why not?"

"Tom, they’re invading my space."

"I know, but it’s cold outside. Everybody likes tea."

"I suppose you’re right." Madelyn couldn’t explain why or how Tom became so caring, but she knew it would be wrong to take that away from him or question it.

"We’re going to revisit this later," Tom said, "you and I."

"What?"

"Your insecurities," he said, taking down the paper cups she left in her cabinet. "Don’t think I’ll forget."

"I know you won’t," Madelyn sighed.

"I think you look amazing and wonderful and this little plaid dress is adorable. The Scot in me always appreciates plaid."

He ran his finger along the neckline of her dress, tracing the point where it came out across her chest.

"Are you making the tea or not?" Luke asked.

"Yes, we’re coming," Tom said. Madelyn dropped bags in each cup and Tom poured the water.

It was over quickly, and Tom’s plan of handing out tea seemed to help. The photographers were kind which surprised Madelyn, and after she and Tom answered a few of their questions, they took their tea and left.

"What does that mean?" she asked Luke when they were tucked inside her house. "How do we deal with this?"

"Well, for now we do nothing. There is nothing we can do unless they harass or provoke you, and even then there are certain standards. Should you and Tom break up, it is likely they will leave you alone. If you took Tom up on his offer, at least then you would be fenced in and security is readily available. But for now we wait."

———

Madelyn hugged her coat tightly around her, running into Tom’s house. She sprang through the back door, shielding her head from the rain. Ever since the paparazzi found her home, they decided it was better to meet at his as much as they could.

"Tom, I’m here!"

"Coming, darling!" he called, stepping into his kitchen. He looped the sleeves of his shirt up his arms and whipped it over his head, Madelyn frozen as she watched. "Ollivander ran in and jumped at me, making a mud — What? Darling?"

Madelyn didn’t answer, staying still as she stared at his chest.

"You haven’t seen it yet, have you?" Tom realized as he stood with his elbows bent and the shirt halfway down his chest. She shook her head, closing the gap between them. Madelyn carefully and slowly touched the top of his scar with her finger. She studied it, feeling the difference in his skin where the pink line marred his chest. Tom pulled his shirt off and tossed it on the counter, not wanting it to get in the way. He watched as his girlfriend touched him, her lips drawn in tight line.

"Tom." It was soft and sweet, and he almost didn’t hear it. Her eyes were starting to water, and Tom gently cupped her cheek, and she leaned into his palm, her hand still on his chest. Madelyn leaned in on her toes, kissing his skin.

The scar should have been ugly and unsightly, but it was the most beautiful thing Madelyn had ever seen. The rest of his skin was warm and soft and strong, and she liked feeling him. Tom wasn’t ignorant to her as her hand stopped just below his sternum, and he covered her hand with his. She twisted her hand, lacing their fingers together, and she kissed him.

Sighing as she wrapped her arms around him, Tom took slid one hand to the back of her head and the other to the small of her back. They moved together, Tom not even missing a beat as she kicked off her shoes and shrank three inches. Madelyn kissed his slender neck, feeling his pulse beneath his skin — the pulse put there by the heart covered by the scar her hand rested on, and she pressed her lips to the scar once more.

"I love you, Madelyn," Tom said. She looked up at him from where her lips hovered just above his skin, and she grinned.

"I love you, Tom," she said, "and I’m so thrilled you’re alive."

Tom grinned and kissed her again, pulling her to his body. She kissed him back with fervor, pushing up on her toes and leaning into him.

In a slow daze, they moved through his house, clothes disappearing as they traveled. Madelyn was glad beautiful underwear was one of her favorite things to buy as it was currently all she found herself in, sinking into Tom’s bed. He gingerly crawled over her, kissing every piece of her skin he passed. She grinned, wrapping her hands around his neck and pulling him into a kiss.

Madelyn had never felt more wonderful in her entire life. Being with Tom was like settling into bed with a good book and a cup of hot tea during a snow storm, only this was a feeling that would stay around. Adoration melted the anxiousness she felt, and Madelyn reveled in his touch. She had figured he would be good at using those long, delicate fingers, and he certainly didn’t disappoint. Although she had lost a part of her she would never recover, she had found something different and special, and that was more than enough.

Tom grinned, his beating heart truly taking flight. Two years ago, he had known he would never know the embrace or kiss of a woman, let alone the gentle warmth of her body, but here was a woman he loved. He loved everything about her, from the way she cared for other people to her closet full of clothes and her small TV and the way she knew exactly which brew of tea to make for whatever best fit the occasion. And now she was in his bed and it was beautiful, and Tom wanted to cry he felt such a peace. His hands traced her curves, and she gave way to him like a dam in a flood.

When it was over, Madelyn sighed and stretched her legs, not even feeling the slightest need to cover herself. Tom pulled the blankets over her, the dinner they were going to eat completely forgotten. She rolled onto her side and kissed him again.

"You are perfect, my darling."

"Thank you," she breathed, stretching her fingers into the hair right behind his ear. "I love you, all of you, and I am so thankful to have you in my life."

Tom pressed his lips to hers as he settled next to her, and they simply stared at each other for several long and luxurious moments. She kept her hand over his heart, feeling it echo throughout his body. Tom reached over her and flicked off the lamp, kissing her forehead as he did. Madelyn sighed as she rolled over and Tom settled in behind her, wrapping his arm around her waist.

"What is it?"

"Nothing," Madelyn answered. Tom drew a small circle on her abdomen, hoping the intimacy would help her open up. She was so guarded, and Tom wanted to hold all of her secrets.

"Please, darling, it’s something."

She sighed, picking at her nail polish with her thumb. “Tom, that was perfect. Everything about it was perfect, even when it wasn’t exactly pleasant. I don’t want you to think I regret any of it, because I don’t. I’m mostly upset with myself.” Tom kept silent, wanting her to get everything out. “After the other guys, I told myself I would get some kind of commitment out of the next one before I slept with him. But here with you, my heart and body couldn’t outweigh my brain. It had nothing to do with you because you’re amazing and I love you, but I’m mad at myself. I just told myself there would be something more than kisses and a nice orgasm.”

"Madelyn, this wasn’t just kisses and a nice orgasm."

"You say that now, but will you feel that way tomorrow? A week? Six months? I know that you’re my best friend, but I’ve already lost one of those before."

Tom didn’t know how to comfort her in the moment, and he didn’t think trying to show her how he felt would help the situation. This was not how he saw their first session of lovemaking ending, and he didn’t know exactly how to make it better in the moment. He could tell her all the reasons he loved her and all the things he wanted to give her and all the amazing things they could do, but he knew she wouldn’t hear it. Instead he kissed her ear and settled in behind her, welcoming sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Madelyn stretched as she woke, her limbs hitting nothing but sheets and mattress. Had she run Tom off with her talk of commitment?

Since she couldn’t take it back, she should at least apologize. It wasn’t his fault and it certainly wasn’t the most appropriate time to approach the subject. Rolling her eyes at herself, she flopped over to Tom’s side of the bed to glance at the clock. Only three hours had passed since she had climbed out of her car, and yet so much had changed.  
She and Tom had slept together, reaching that delicate level of intimacy, and it had been wonderful. Perfect even. Madelyn sighed in a fuzzy contentment, knowing that’s how sex should always be. She looked at the nightstand next to her and sighed.

Plucking the card from the table, she read Tom’s airy and beautiful penmanship.

Darling —

I know we missed our dinner so I’ve run downstairs to make us some. I’ve left a shirt for you on the edge of the bed, and there are shorts and loungers in the top drawer if you’d like a pair. When you come downstairs, would you mind bringing a couple boxes with you? There’s a white one in the closet and a small one in the side table.

See you in a moment!

— T

Madelyn grinned and stretched for the gray T-shirt he’d left and climbed from the bed. Walking to his dresser, she found a pair of plain lounge pants and pulled them on, adjusting the draw string so they would sit on her hips. The box in the closet was easy enough to find, a black ribbon tied around it. The box in the night stand was small, and she shrugged as she sat it in top of the white one. Whatever Tom was making smelled amazing, and with the boxes beneath her arms, she made her way downstairs.

"Hello, my love," Tom said, "did you have a nice doze?"

"Very nice," she said. "I wanted to apologize for earlier. That wasn’t the time or the place."

"I’m glad you brought it up, because it’s something we need to discuss," Tom said, taking the boxes from her. He sat them on the floor before wrapping his arms around her. "Were you ready for that? Really?"

Madelyn looked at her hands as she drew her finger over the scar on his chest. “Tom, I don’t know that I’ve ever felt more ready about anything in my life. I practically ripped your trousers.”

Tom laughed as he ran his hands across her back. “I know you liked it in the moment, but I want to be sure you have no regrets, that you don’t wish it hadn’t happened. We could not make love again ever if you didn’t want it, and that would be fine with me.”

"Did you not like it?!" Madelyn asked, stepping away from Tom, her brow furrowed.

"Madelyn," he said, "I loved every single second of it. I’ve never felt more comfortable, more loved, or more connected with anyone in my life. If you wanted, I would lay you down on the floor right now and share it again with you. I want to make love to you every day for the rest of my life, but what I want more than that is for you to feel happy and confident in every moment of our relationship. If you want to wait to do it again or if you never want to do it again, that would be okay because that’s what you want."

Madelyn surprised Tom by wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly. “You’re the best person I’ve ever known.”

Tom relaxed in her embrace, rubbing her back. He had never been one to hold a girl for a long period of time, but something about holding Madelyn seemed natural. He could smell the peaches of her shampoo and he sighed.

"No, Tom," she said, her cheek against his chest. "I don’t regret it at all. I could never regret something so pure and — I don’t know — organic between us. I just had a momentary lapse of fear this won’t work out. Tom I lost my brother, and I don’t know what would happen if I lost you, too. And having sex, that physical connection which was so perfect and wonderful and the stuff of romance novels, scared me, but just for a moment."

"Scared you?"

"Yes," she said, finally looking up at him. "I’ve had sex before, and I’ve even enjoyed it before, but it never felt like it did with you. It’s like a part of my soul was stitched to yours in those few precious moments and now I’ll never get that back. And furthermore, I don’t want it back. I want you to keep it and keep me forever. I’ve never felt more cherished in my entire life, Tom, and I never want to lose that."

Tom cradled her face in his palms, staring into the endless brown of her eyes. “I plan on keeping you as long as the good lord lets me.”

Madelyn grinned. “I like that.”

"I’m so very glad."

"And if I weren’t so hungry, I would let you lay me across the floor right here, right now."

Tom laughed and ran the tips of his fingers through the short and soft hair by her ears. “I’m afraid the food is not quite ready yet, but I’m glad you brought the boxes. Have a seat, please.”

Madelyn sat in the chair he’d left out for her, and Tom knelt in front of her with the two boxes she’d almost forgotten she’d carried down the stairs.

"You look adorable in my clothes," Tom said. "I quite like it. This isn’t how I had planned this. I was planning on the park with you in another cute dress and a little bit of snow maybe." Madelyn watched as he pulled off the ribbon, her eyes growing wide seeing the label. "But nothing about us seems to go as planned. Nothing about our relationship is normal, so this doesn’t have to be either." He pulled off the lid and pulled out a beautiful heel. Madelyn sighed, knowing the shoe was no longer for sale and had no idea how Tom had found it, but it was perfect — soft blue suede with scallops and a strap with a button closure. He wrapped his hand around her ankle after loosening the strap and effortlessly slid the perfect shoe on her foot. "I saw these shoes and I thought of you, and then I thought of you wearing them beneath a beautiful white dress as you walked down an aisle to me, and I thought that sounded very nice." Madelyn was breathless as he slipped the other shoe from the box and onto her foot. "What do you think?"

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, Tom," she said. "I’ll marry you."

Tom laughed as he held both of her feet now cocooned in the stunning pair of Manolo Blahnik’s. “I haven’t made it there yet, my darling.” He set her feet on the ground and reached for the small box. He removed the lid and produced a smaller box. “Madelyn, I thought it was important you bring these things down so you would know this wasn’t me saying the sex was good enough, or that I felt obligated to ask you this question because you gave me an ultimatum, this is me saying you’re wonderful and amazing, and I love you. Madelyn, you’re the best person I’ve ever known. Will you please say you’ll spend forever with me and be my wife?”

Tom popped open the lid of a small wooden box and revealed a beautiful Art Deco style ring with square diamond centered between to emeralds. Madelyn squealed as her eyes met his.

"Of course, yes! Yes!"

Tom grinned as he slid the ring on her finger and she leapt into his arms, the picturesque shoes never touching the ground. They stood in his kitchen in pajamas and one fantastic pair of heels, kissing for long moments. Madelyn was crying by the time Tom pulled away, and he wiped her cheeks with his thumb.

"Oh, we can’t have you crying!" he grinned.

"These are happy tears," she said, "the first I’ve cried in a very long time!"

She wrapped her arms around him again, hugging him so tightly he almost couldn’t breathe.

"Come," he said, "I’ve made us some dinner since we clearly missed our reservation."

Tom grabbed a plate and started scooping, only to have Madelyn add a scoop of everything he got to his plate. She grinned at him and followed him to the table where their glasses of wine already sat waiting. Tom sat and raised his eyebrow at his fiancée. She giggled as she sat in his lap, scooped the fork into the squash puree and held it to his mouth. He shook his head as he wrapped his arms around her wait and his lips around the fork, and Madelyn grinned.

"Oh Tom, I feel so silly!"

"Why, my darling?"

"This is so silly," she said. "I thought it would be cute and I would like it, but I just feel silly."

"You’re entitled to be silly," he said, "you’ve just gotten engaged."

"I have!" she laughed. "And I do like sitting in your lap."

"So let’s eat," Tom said. Madelyn decided if she felt silly she didn’t want to be away from Tom, even the few inches between chairs. She fed him while he held her, occasionally sneaking kisses between rosemary chicken and wild rice. Madelyn hadn’t removed the shoes, and Tom often caught her looking at them or her ring, beaming inside that he could make her so happy.

"Are those emeralds in there?"

"Yes, they are."

"Why? It’s not that they aren’t beautiful. I just wonder why you picked emeralds."

"Elijah," Tom said. "You said green was his favorite color and we wouldn’t be here without him. And now it’ll be like he’s with you wherever you go."

"Oh, Tom!" It was all Madelyn could manage between her tears and the kisses she placed on her boyfriend.

When they had cleaned up the kitchen, Tom wrapped his arms around her and kissed her softly.

"There’s really only one thing that’s bothered me about earlier," he said.

"What’s that? I told you I didn’t mean it."

"You described your orgasm as ‘nice.’ As you’ve agreed to spend the rest of your life with me, I think we can do much better than nice."

"And what did you have in mind?" Madelyn asked, raising her eyebrow and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I was thinking incredible," he said against her neck and nipped at her ear lobe. "Earth shattering." He slid his hand from her back to her bum and squeezed. "Mind blowing." Madelyn moaned as he bit her bottom lip and slid his hand just under the hem of the T-shirt. "Stars behind your eyelids kind of orgasm."

Tom dropped his other hand down her front, fingers just barely grazing the places Madelyn wanted him to touch the most.

"I think we could certainly try," Madelyn whispered. Tom laughed as he swiftly lifted her to his chest and carried her upstairs once again to his bedroom.

———

Madelyn giggled as she sat at Tom’s kitchen table, letting her ring catch the morning sunlight.

"Mum, Tom and I are getting married!"

"Oh, he asked? That’s lovely, dear!"

"Isn’t it?" Madelyn said. "You should see the ring! It’s lovely."

"I have seen it, pretty girl! It is wonderful!"

"You’ve seen it?"

"Of course," Mrs. Miller answered. "He asked your father at Christmas."

Madelyn looked at Tom who was grinning like a loon as he poured the tea.

"He did?"

"Yes, sweetheart," Mrs. Miller said. "He’s a fine young man, that one."

"Indeed," Madelyn said. "I’m going to have to call you back."

"All right. Take care and congratulations!"

"Always, and thanks. Love you."

Madelyn dimly heard her mother’s reply as she dropped her phone on the table and sprang into her fiancé’s arms.

"Tom, I had no idea you’d been so thorough!"

"Anything for you, my darling."

Madelyn rubbed his beautiful cheekbones before pushing herself up on her toes and kissing him. “Tom, I’m so elated I don’t even know how to describe it!”

"The wonderful thing, my darling, is that you have the rest of your life to figure out how."

Madelyn giggled, and Tom kissed her.


	10. Chapter 10

"Darling, would you be willing to meet me this evening?"

"Of course," she said, "I get off work at six. Call you after?"

"Yes, that will work," Tom said. "Love you."

"Love you, too."  
Madelyn pulled into Tom’s garage, which was an odd thought for her. No longer was she parking on the curb or in the drive. Now she was in the garage. And they hadn’t talked about it much yet, but it did seem logical this would become her spot soon. Madelyn smiled to herself and let Damn Spot out of the back.

"Hello, pretty girl!" Tom said, stooping over to pet the dog’s head as she ran ahead of her owner.

"And what am I?" Madelyn grinned. Tom stood, wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her.

"You, my darling, are my perfect lady."

Madelyn grinned as she kissed him again.

"What are we doing tonight?"

"First, we eat," he said, "I ordered the chicken you like from that little place we had to sneak out of last time."

"Did you get the dumplings?"

"Of course," Tom said. "Always the dumplings for my sweet dumpling."

"Let’s eat then."

It was a comfortable thing for them to eat dinner, talking about their days.

"You seemed like you wanted to talk about something," Madelyn said.

"I did," Tom said as he set his fork on his plate. "As you may know, the BAFTAs are coming up, and I have been invited to present. I would really love it if you would come with me. Would you be interested in that?"

Tom noticed the way she ran her fingers over the short hairs at the nape of her neck, a habit he’d decided meant she was overwhelmed.

"Tom, I would like that," she said. "I really would, but this is huge."

"What do you mean?"

"It’s such a huge event," she said. "That’s a lot of people."

"I know, my darling," he said, "And I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t really, really want you there. I would also hope that as my wife, you would want to be by my side for everything because I want you by my side."

She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead.

"Madelyn," he said "do you trust me?"

Her head snapped up, disbelieving he would even ask. “Of course.”

"Come on," he said, standing from his chair. He pulled her up by her hand, upsetting both the dogs but he grabbed two treats from their jar on the counter and tossed them to the canines.

"The dishes!"

"Will keep until tomorrow," Tom said. "This needs to happen and this needs to happen now."

Once they reached the top of the stairs after a brisk climb, Tom pulled off his shirt and started with his jeans.

"This isn’t where I saw this going," Madelyn said, starting with the top button of her dress. "But it’s all right."

Tom chuckled as he pulled off his socks and slid the denim down his legs. “Maybe later, but I had another plan.”

"Yes?" Madelyn stopped moving, imagining all the things her boyfriend could do in a state of nakedness.

"Down to your skivvies, please," he said.

"Are you okay?"

"Indeed," Tom said. "I once told you we would talk about your insecurities. There is no better time than the present. I want you to see you as I see you, but I think if you were naked we wouldn’t accomplish anything in the way of feelings."

"So the skivvies then?"

"Yes," Tom said. He tossed his clothes on the chair in the corner and snapped the band of his boxers.

Madelyn slid her dress from her arms and stepped out of it, and Tom was ready with a hanger. He placed it in the closet and Madelyn put her hands across her chest.

"Now," he said, "are these insecurities physical or mental?"

"Both."

"And you’re comfortable talking to me about this?"

Madelyn knew the question alone was the reason she could. She nodded.

"Great," he said. He opened the large wardrobe in his room and pulled out one of the drawers. Madelyn watched as he produced two little jars, one filled with red and the other blue. He opened his closet door, which was mirrored and led her in front of it, the jars propped between his arm and chest. He unscrewed the lid on the red jar and held it out to her. Madelyn could see what looked like paint, and she frowned.

"Have you lost your mind?"

"Nope," he said, "I just want to get a better understanding of where you’re coming from, and what you have to be insecure about. Please take this red paint and just highlight every part of you that you feel insecure about."

"Finger painting, Tom?"

"It’ll be my map," he said. "Please."

Madelyn looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. What if there was something Tom hadn’t even noticed yet and she was about to put a big old target right on it? This made no sense.

"Fine." She dipped right in and began drawing on herself, surprised to find the paint was somewhat warm. Tom sat on the floor next to the mirror and just watched, and some minutes later Madelyn looked herself over again. She was almost in tears at the sight of all the red splotches she smeared across her skin. With a sigh, she dipped her finger in again and drew a crown around her head. It was then she noticed Tom cocked his head to the side from where he sat.

"I think I’m finished."

"Okay." Tom stood and crossed his arms against his chest. Madelyn kept her eyes down while he circled her a few times. The tears started to fall then, as she knew he would ask for the ring back. 

Instead she felt a chill on her skin as Tom smeared blue paint on her arm. She looked down at the jagged scar from a fall as a child now covered with a blue heart.

"Gives you character and a good story to tell." He moved to the smears of red on her hips, which Tom knew covered a series of stretch marks on either side. Drawing big blue hearts on each hip, he knelt before her and kissed her skin. Madelyn knew she should laugh at his paint smeared lips but couldn’t. This was too serious, too sacred. "Literal proof of growth and change." He painted hearts on the back of her thighs. "Frankly, my darling, I’d be worried if you didn’t have cellulite. All beautiful women do. Anything else would be fake." He stopped when he got to her feet, both covered in red. "This one I don’t see. What’s wrong with your feet?"

"They’re funny shaped. Little, flat, funny shaped feet."

"You’ve got all ten toes and they carry you efficiently from one place to another. Your feet are beautiful."

When every smear of red had been covered with blue paint, kisses and a compliment, Tom got to the crown of red around her head. “Please do tell.”

"It’s for my brain, really."

"Your brain?"

"You are so smart, Tom. I don’t think you even realize how smart you are sometimes, but like, information just leaks out of you. And it worries me that someone will look at me next to you and not get it."

"I’m not that smart, I assure you," he said, dipping his finger into his jar. Madelyn shivered as he began to ruffle her short hair with the paint. "I also know you have three degrees, multiple certifications, a knack for cooking and a vast knowledge of animal grooming. You may not recite Shakespeare at the drop of a hat, but not many people do. And more than a question of intelligence is your heart, dear Madelyn. You change people’s lives simply by listening and caring. I’ve seen the letter Clarice wrote you — I know how much you mean to her." Madelyn bit her lips. Clarice was her first patient after school, and now she was excelling at Oxford without the help of medication. The girl was healthy and eating, even maintaining a healthy weight. She was happy. Madelyn kept the letter on her dresser in case she ever needed the reminder why she was doing what she did. And Tom had read it. "I know she’s not the only one. You saved my life, Madelyn. You do every day. You give my borrowed heart a sense of purpose and hope. Please don’t discount any of that. You are my reason to keep going."

She looked at his hands now taking hers, red and blue paint covering their fingers.

"I have one more thing to offer. Who am I?"

"You’re Tom Hiddleston."

"And tell me about Tom Hiddleston."

"Well, Tom is very handsome," Madelyn began. "He’s extremely talented, incredibly intelligent and delightfully funny. He is charming and so very kind with a very big heart, even if it is borrowed. He always sees light when most see darkness, and he sees things in me I don’t see in myself. He is the very best man I’ve ever met."

"This Tom sounds amazing."

"He is."

"And what then could be said of the woman Tom Hiddleston wants to spend the rest of his life with? Hmmm? She wouldn’t be ordinary, would she? She couldn’t be. She would be extraordinary! She would have to be funny, smart, and of course beautiful. She would always see the best and good in others, even if she may not see it herself. She would be gracious and sympathetic, gentle and kind. Her feet might be flat but she loves to wear heels and looks damn good in them. She would be perfect for him, and he would see fit to tell her so everyday. He would love her and cherish her as long as she would let him, and he would love to make her happy. Do you think she should give that a chance?"

Madelyn nodded, too overwhelmed by his words to speak.

"I am Tom Hiddleston," he said. "And I choose you, Madelyn Miller. Don’t make me foolish by thinking you are not worthy."

"Tom, I’ve never thought about it like that."

"I know," he said, "but don’t you dare forget it."

He dropped her hands and stood behind her so they both reflected in the mirror. “Now red was the color for the things you didn’t like about yourself, right?” She nodded. “Do you see any red?” She looked up and down her body only to see blue hearts covering the bits of her skin. A giant blue heart sat upon her head, and she laughed. It wasn’t a hollow or a depressed laugh, but rather a laugh that lifted the entire room.

"Tom, you’re amazing!" she squealed, turning and jumping onto him. "I know they’re still there and they will always be there, but now I’ll just see this — big, blue, messy hearts. And it will hurt less."

"I know it’ll take time and yes, you will always know they are there," he said, "but I am making it my life’s mission to remind you how astonishing and beautiful you really are. One day, you might come to believe me."

"Oh, I’ll try Tom. I will try."

"You’ll go to the BAFTAs with me, won’t you?"

"Of course, and any other awards show you’ll have me."

Tom kissed her cheek as he hugged her, and she laughed again. “I think we’re quite messy. Perhaps a shower is in order?”

"I would like that very much, my darling."

———

"Good evening, Madelyn," Luke said, kissing her cheeks. "I’m glad you were able to make it on such short notice."

"Thank you so much for getting this together."

"You’re in luck," Luke said, opening the door. He flicked the lock behind them as Madelyn stared around the brightly lit room. Dresses of the prettiest colors lined the walls and stood on mannequins, looking pristine and precious. "Another client of mine is having her dress fitted and when she found out I was looking for a dress for Tom’s fiancee, she insisted you join her."

Madelyn wanted to reach out and touch the magnificent chiffon but knew that was probably not the best idea.

"I’m so pleased," Madelyn said. "It’s lovely."

"Great," Luke said, "They’ve pulled a few dresses for you already and they’re back here."

Madelyn followed Luke through the store and to the back where there were several dressing rooms, but in the middle on a pedestal stood Emma Watson.

"Em, that one is beautiful!" an older woman said from her place in a cushioned chair.

"I quite like it," Emma said before she noticed Luke and Madelyn. She grinned and headed straight to Madelyn and took both her hands. "You must be Madelyn. I’m Emma, and it’s so nice to meet you. Tom talks about you all the time!"

She hugged Madelyn and then looked at her ring. “It’s so lovely. Congratulations!”

"Thank you," Madelyn smiled. "It’s so nice to meet you, too. You’re absolutely gorgeous."

Emma gave her a slight bow of her head and pulled Madelyn towards the pedestal. “This is Catherine, the designer. She makes beautiful things.”

Catherine was tall, thin and beautiful, and Madelyn felt like the woman’s eyes were undressing her.

"Yes, I think we have something for you," Catherine said. "You’re in the first room here. I have an attendant to help you."

Madelyn went into the first room and began changing, finding hangers waiting for her dress and coat. She pulled on the first dress and sighed.

"Could I get a hand please?" she asked.

"Hello, Madelyn," a spritely blonde said. "I’m Genevieve. I’ll zip you up."

Madelyn turned around as Genevieve went to work, and sucked in hoping that would help.

"Well, this is the sample size," Genevieve said. "Let’s see what Catherine thinks." Madelyn looked at herself, aware this dress was much better suited for someone built more like Emma.

"This is the first one," Genevieve said. Madelyn waited with bated breath while Catherine narrowed her eyes.

"You’re a bit shorter and considerably more curvaceous than our regular customer," Catherine said. "I had your measurements but seeing them in a dress makes me rethink. How high are the heels you’ll be wearing?"

"Four inches?"

"Perfect," Catherine said. She disappeared through another door and then came back with a garment bag in her hands. She unzipped it and pulled out a dark sea foam green silk tulle dress. Madelyn took a deep breath as she looked at it and touched the soft fabric.

"This was a custom cut for an engaged woman," Catherine said, "but it fell through just like her wedding. We were one fitting short of finishing it, but she never came back. However, I think it will be beautiful on you."

"I hope so," Madelyn sighed. "It’s gorgeous."

"I’m glad you think so." Catherine smiled. Genevieve followed Madelyn back into her dressing room and helped her change into the second dress. Madelyn smiled as Genevieve slipped the zipper up with ease and then Catherine appeared at the curtain with a pair of black heels.

"These are just to test," Catherine said, and then she looked at the dress over Genevieve’s shoulder. "Ah, Madelyn! I think we found your dress."

"It feels good," Madelyn said.

"It’s because you and the other woman were about the same size up top," Catherine said. "Come outside."

"Ooh! Does she have it on?" Madelyn laughed as she heard Emma shout throughout the dressing rooms. Genevieve helped her into the shoes, and then Madelyn held up the skirt as she stepped on the pedestal.

"Madelyn, it’s perfect!" Emma said. "You look absolutely amazing. Tom is going to flip."

"Oh, I certainly hope so."

"Yes, but how do you feel?" Emma asked. "You first must feel good and then we’ll worry about Tom."

"I feel amazing," Madelyn said.

"Yes, and we’ll only have to hem it a bit," Catherine said. "It fits you nicely in the chest."

"Your breasts are perfect," Genevieve said. "They sit perfectly. They’re shaped perfectly in the dress. It’s like, ‘Hello, world!’"

Madelyn blushed and fiddled with her ring, something she’d found herself doing since Tom had given it to her. 

"Is this the dress for you?" Catherine asked as one of the other girls finished pinning the dress into place.

"Madelyn," Luke said, coming up from his place on the couch. "If I could give my personal expertise, this is divine. It will photograph well, and it compliments your Welsh skin perfectly. If you love it, this is the one we’ll take."

"We’re in luck," Madelyn grinned. "I love it!"

"Wonderful," Catherine said. "We’ll get this taken care of and have it delivered to you the day of. You’ll need to return it the next day, but Luke can take care of the arrangements for that."

"Thank you," Madelyn said, running her fingers over the fabric as she looked at herself. Everyone had been right — the dress was so complimentary and fit everything it needed to just right and helped camouflage some of things she wasn’t so happy about, like her thighs. Of course Tom didn’t mind any of those things, but having a dress to accentuate the good wasn’t a bad thing at all.

"No, send it to my house!" Emma said. "Oh, you must get ready with me. We’ll have so much fun and my girl can do your makeup and we’ll drink champagne. Tom can pick you up. Please?"

"Really? Ok, Yes!" Madelyn agreed. If she was going to go to one of these fancy events, it might be nice to know at least one other person and to have the help of someone so willing to give it.

"It’s settled then," Catherine said. "We’ll make the required adjustments and send this to Emma’s house."

———

"How do you feel?" Emma asked, sitting on her bed as Madelyn was in the chair, getting her makeup finished. She had a glass of champagne in hand and smiled at her new friend.

"I feel beautiful," Madelyn said. "Thank you for inviting me."

"Anytime," Emma said. "It’s so nice to have a girlfriend to do this with. I grew up with Dan and Rupert and Felton for so long, and then I was always alone, but this is so much more fun. And you look beautiful."

"Thank you," Madelyn said. "You do, too."

"Those earrings are gorgeous," Emma said. "Where did you get them?"

"My grandmother," Madelyn said, "but I bought the shoes myself."

"Love those too," Emma said. “And I love love love your clutch! Where did you find it? Seriously, if I didn’t have a stylist, I would hire you."

“Clearance section at H & M. Love when that happens. That’s very kind of you to say. I’ve always taken an interest in fashion,” Madelyn said. “Funny I was a therapist instead.”

"But you’re in class again?"

"Career change," Madelyn said, "but I don’t even know how well it work out."

"You’ll find something, I’m sure."

Madelyn laughed as she ate biscuits and drank champagne with Emma until it was time to change into her dress. Emma let her use one of her guest bathrooms which was about the size of Madelyn’s entire apartment. She stepped into her dress and adjusted it so everything was where it should be. The woman who had fixed her hair was there in a moment’s notice to zip it for her, and then she looked at herself again in the full-length mirror. She’d been in front of the press but this was her first big debut. If she could handle the BAFTAs, she could handle anything. She looked at the ring on her finger again as she exhaled, and she smiled.

The doorbell rang and Emma cheered. “Oh, Madelyn, I think your lover is here!”

Madelyn laughed as she left the bathroom and found Emma in the hall.

"Emma, you look incredible."

Emma gave a little curtsey and grinned, “As do you, my fine lady. Let’s go see how much he drools.”

Emma hooked her elbow in Madelyn’s and they walked down the stairs. Madelyn felt like she was floating, and she grinned as Emma pulled open the door. Tom’s eyes widened and his face dropped from a grin to a gape.

"Madelyn, my darling!" He said, hugging her and kissing her cheek. "Wonderful.” Forehead. “Amazing.” Nose. “Beautiful." And lips.

"Thank you." Madelyn said, blushing.

"Emma, you look radiant as usual," he said, his arms still around Madelyn. "Thank you for taking care of my girl."

"You’re welcome," Emma grinned. "It’s an honor and a privilege. You found a gem."

Madelyn smiled and reached out for Emma’s hand. “I can’t thank you and Luke enough.”

"Don’t worry about it." Emma said. "You two kids enjoy your dinner and I’ll see you in a bit."

"Thank you, love," Tom said, letting go of Madelyn to kiss his friend’s cheek. "Have fun with Matthew."

"Oh, I always do." Emma laughed.

Madelyn grabbed her coat and clutch from where they hung by the door, and she kissed Emma’s cheeks as they left. Tom tucked her under his arm and kissed the side of her head.

"You look beautiful, doll."

"Thank you," she said. "You look so handsome."

"Thanks," he said. "I can’t wait to show you off."

They were quiet and calm during dinner, Tom not wanting to get too excited or do anything that would make Madelyn more nervous than he knew she already was. She was quiet in the limo while he held her hand.

"You’ll be fine, my lovely." Tom squeezed her fingers, and Madelyn nodded.

"I know, Tom," she said. "With you, I always am."

"I was thinking about your coat," Tom said. "It’s cute, but not really appropriate for an awards show."

"It’s the nicest one I’ve got," Madelyn said.

"I know," Tom said. He reached for a box sitting on the seat in front of him and passed it to her. "That’s why I bought you this."

"Tom, more gifts! You know I can’t afford anything for you!"

"I know my darling," he said, "but that’s not why I do it. I enjoy buying you nice things. Open it."

Madelyn pulled the lid off and peeled back the tissue. She pulled out the fabric and sighed at the loveliest black cape she’d ever seen. It was wool but velvet lined and she knew this was the most wonderful coat she would ever own.

"Alexander McQueen, Tom!" It was then she noticed the tiny skulls on his bow tie.

"I know," he grinned. "It’s beautiful, isn’t it?"

"Yes, of course!" she said. She slipped out of her red coat she’d thought was quite nice at the time she purchased it and pulled on the black wool cape with Tom’s help. She was immediately wrapped in its warmth and Tom’s love.

"It’s perfect."

Tom brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles, grinning up to his eyes as he did. His life had changed so drastically, and he couldn’t believe his fortune. Tonight he was making his first big public appearance, and he had his amazing fiancée by his side. She looked so beautiful in her dress, and he couldn’t believe he was going to spend the rest of his life with her.

"Tom, I’m so happy for you."

"Thank you," he said, "I’m so happy you’re here."

The car stopped and Madelyn looked past Tom at the lights and cameras, and her heart sped up.

"I can’t believe it," she said. "Mum said she’d be watching. Oh Tom, this is happening."

"It is, and it will be great."

Luke climbed out first, followed by Tom, and he helped Madelyn out of the car. She had thought the screams were bad the night he took her to the play, but now they were deafening. Luke had informed Madelyn what would happen — pictures of them together, pictures of Tom by himself, then they could walk down the carpet together, and then she could go inside or wait with Luke. She had thought she would go inside and let Tom do what he did best, but with her hand in his and her new coat keeping her warm she felt good enough to stand by his side.

Tom gave a wave to the first group of fans, and then they were off.

"Tom! Tom!"

"Right this way," Luke said, leading them through the line of greeters. Pictures would be first and then Tom would head down one line for interviews and loop back around the other side for fans.

Madelyn shrugged off her fabulous coat, even though she hated to part with it. It was decided she would stand on Tom’s left with her hand either on her hip or his chest so her ring could be seen, and Emma had given her plenty of tips on how to hold her head and face so they looked the best in the pictures. Madelyn hadn’t realized so much went into posing, but the flashes and people shouting Tom’s name were enough to make her drown them all out. Tom had told her he often recited lines from a play while on the carpet as it kept him in his head, and the yelling seemed less pertinent. Madelyn didn’t really know any Shakespeare, and she didn’t care to think about the chapter she should have read instead of going out tonight, so she simply thought of Tom.

"You’re looking beautiful," he said. "They’re all talking about how gorgeous my future wife is."

Madelyn smiled as she looked up at him, focusing on the green flecks in his eyes.

"Kiss her, Tom! Kiss her!"

"Shall we oblige? We don’t have to if you don’t want to."

"Why not?"

Madelyn ran her fingers along the edge of Tom’s coat as he twisted her waist and kissed her softly and chastely.

"Beautiful!" Somebody yelled.

"Now Tom alone," Luke said, passing Madelyn back her coat. Madelyn shrugged into it and Tom squeezed her fingers before she stood off to the side with Luke.

He was a thing to behold, all tall and golden and marvelous. Madelyn took in his easy smile and the way his eyes brightly shined. A photographer said something that made him laugh, and she smiled with him, watching her love. He was alive, healthy and more importantly happy. And Madelyn was thrilled he had picked her.

"There’s a woman in love if I’ve ever seen one."

Madelyn jumped at the deep vibrato in her ear, but she smiled when she turned around.

"Hello, Madelyn. I’m Benedict," he said. "You look lovely this evening."

"Thank you," she said, holding out her hand. "It’s lovely to meet you."

"Likewise," Benedict said. "I’m chuffed Tom met you and congratulations on the engagement."

"Thank you so much," she said. "Tom talks about you all the time. It sounds like you’ve been busy."

"I have," Benedict laughed. "I’ve been in LA and New York or else we would have met months ago, I’m sure."

"You actors lead such exciting lives," she smiled. "Seeing all that the world has to offer."

"Well, I won’t joke with you that it does get lonely," Benedict said. "Tom is lucky to have found you."

"Thank you," she said, "but I feel equally blessed. He sees such color in the world."

Benedict grinned. “Indeed, Tom is one of the most positive people I know. Even when he was laying there in his hospital bed after having his chest stapled back up, he was still so excited to get back into the world.”

"Ben!" Tom hugged his friend before sliding his arm around Madelyn’s shoulder. "I see you’ve met my lady."

"I did," Benedict said. "Congratulations."

"Thank you so much," Tom said.

"Tom, there will be time inside for this," Luke said, "Plus he lives a block over."

"Oh, you do?" Madelyn asked. "Well you must come for dinner. Tom is always making the best things."

"Madelyn knows her way around the kitchen as well.” Tom said. "Don’t let her mislead you."

"Tom." Luke was short now and Madelyn giggled.

"Go on, both of you," she said. "I don’t want to get in trouble for being a distraction at my very first big event."

"Oh, all right," Tom said, with an air of innocence. "We were just making conversation!"

But Luke was already pulling Tom away, and he looked back over Tom’s shoulder and gave Madelyn a simple, “Thank you.”

Madelyn hung back with some of the other publicists, and then Tom was calling her over.

"Madelyn," he said, smiling at her and pulling her under his arm. "This is Chris Hewitt with Empire Magazine. He’s one of my oldest friends on the carpet. Chris, this is my darling Madelyn."

"Lovely to meet you," Chris said, holding his hand over the metal railing. Madelyn stuck hers in it and grinned.

"Nice to meet you as well," she said. "You’re tomato soup man, aren’t you?"

"Indeed!" Chris said. "I am indeed tomato soup man. How did you know that?"

"I followed Tom’s career a little as a fan before we started dating, and then when we started dating I figured it would be best to know as much about him as I could. He’s such a thoughtful man, isn’t he?"

"Yes, very much," Chris said. "I hear there’s some big news."

"Yes! I am very excited to announce I’ve asked her to be my wife," Tom said, picking up Madelyn’s hand and holding it up so Chris could see the ring. “And she said yes!” She giggled, and Chris was bursting with laughter.

"Oh my God! That’s real!" he cheered. "That’s amazing! Congratulations, you two!"

"Thank you," Madelyn said.

"So have you set a date yet?"

"Not officially," Tom said. "But we’re thinking late spring.”

"So soon?"

"When you’ve come as close to death as I have, you tend to not want to wait," Tom answered with a smile, "and we really have no reason to delay it any longer."

"Of course! Why would you?" Chris looked at Madelyn. "And you’re ok with such a short engagement? Not much time to plan the big day.”

"I feel the same as Tom," she said. "I suppose you know I lost my brother to a car accident, and now I see every moment as a precious one. I wouldn’t want to wait any longer than necessary to be married."

"Well, how wonderful!" Chris said. "I’m sorry for your loss but so excited for your pending nuptials."

"Thank you," Madelyn said. "I am too."

Tom kissed her cheek, and Madelyn stayed by his side while he finished interviews. Tom walked her inside and looked around.

"I was hoping I could find someone to talk to you while I greeted fans," he said. "I didn’t want to leave you alone but I don’t want you to stay outside."

"Go," Madelyn said. "I’ll be fine."

She knew this was Tom’s favorite part, but she wasn’t keen on staying outside in the cold. She could slink over to the wall and wait or find her seat. Tom squeezed her hand and kissed her nose.

"See you in a bit."

Madelyn was relieved when the tall brunette smiled at her. “You must be Madelyn. Emma told me to look for you.”

"Hello," she said, "You must be Matthew."

He grinned and shook her hand, “I am indeed. You look lovely this evening.”

"Thank you," she said. "You look very handsome."

He nodded. “I’m quite glad to have someone else to wait with. I love and hate these things.”

"Me too," Madelyn said.

"Would you like to get a drink?"

"That would be lovely. Thank you."

Madelyn and Matthew chatted in the lobby, and Madelyn was actually quite happy for the company. He was sweet and funny, and it was easy to see why Emma liked him.

"Madelyn!" Emma said, running to them. "I’m so glad you found Matthew. I know he hates these things, even if he tells me he doesn’t."

Madelyn laughed. “Please, it was a relief to get out of the cold. And I enjoyed the company.”

"Tom was almost through the line," Emma said. "You know how he is with his fans. They love him."

"Indeed they do," she said. "Thank you."

"You’re so welcome," Emma said, hugging her. "We’ll see you inside."

Cheryl, Luke’s counterpart, ushered Matthew and Emma inside, and Madelyn twisted her ring on her finger.

"Darling," Tom said softly, taking her hand. He kissed her cheek and slid his arm around her waist, and she instinctively leaned into him. She looked up at his beautiful face.

"What’s wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing, sweetness," he smiled but Madelyn knew he was lying.

"I know something’s wrong," she said. "You don’t have to tell me right now but you do have to tell me."

"Let’s just go in and enjoy the show."

Madelyn sighed but slid her hand in his. Tom was keeping something from her, and she could tell it had upset him. He smiled but he wasn’t his usual chipper self. 

Tom left to go backstage, leaving Madelyn with a seat-filler. Her heart soared when she saw him take the stage with Laura Carmichael. He looked so handsome and beautiful, and his face lit up like he was at home. There was no denying Tom belonged in front of an audience, and Madelyn grinned. He was perfect, and he was hers.

"You were wonderful," Madelyn said when he finally reappeared in the seat next to her.

"Thank you," he said. "It’s always fun presenting."

Madelyn slipped her hand in his and rested her head on his shoulder. Kissing the top of her head, Tom settled into his seat.

They only made it to the limo before Madelyn exclaimed, “Tom, what happened?”

"Madelyn, my darling," he said, "I don’t want to bother you with it."

"Tom," Madelyn said, taking both of his hands in hers. "I’ve agreed to be your wife — your partner in life. Whatever is your problem is my problem. Please don’t keep this from me."

Tom pulled his hands away and rubbed his face, covering his eyes. “I don’t know that I should have brought you into this life.”

"What do you mean?"

"You’re so pure and loving, and these people can be so incredibly harsh."

Madelyn laughed. “Tom, I may be self-conscious, but I told my patients every day not to listen to the petty thoughts of others, and I do know to take my own advice.”

"It’s just they don’t even know you and they say things," Tom said. "I snapped at a fan."

"Oh, Tom," Madelyn said, brushing her finger through his sideburn. "I’m sure you will be forgiven."

Tom sighed as he leaned into her hand. “I just wasn’t expecting it to be about you.”

"Well, I didn’t hear it and you don’t have to tell me," she said. "So I am fine, but I am worried about you. If whatever this fan said changes the way you feel about me, please let it be known now so we can move on."

Tom laughed. “Of course it doesn’t change how I feel about you, my other half. I didn’t know I would feel so protective of you.”

Madelyn sighed before she kissed his forehead. “I’m touched, really. And I’m exhilarated, and I’m so at peace with you, Tom.”

"I love you so much."

Madelyn leaned her forehead against his. “You can tell me anything.”

"I will. Promise." Tom nodded and kissed her briefly. "Thank you for coming tonight. It was immensely better to have you by my side."

"Not a problem at all," Madelyn said. "I really enjoyed it, and I love this dress and my coat. I feel like a princess when I’m with you."

"Darling, you’re my queen."


	11. Chapter 11

Madelyn couldn’t believe how quickly the time flew by. She and Tom had set a date, and it was closer than ever. Her childhood church had been booked, her parents had spent the past few months tending to their garden for a lovely reception, and Tom had chosen a suit.

Choosing a dress had been easy — Madelyn had known she wanted to wear her grandmother’s dress since she was a child. Everything about it felt right to her. A simple tea-length gown with lace. It was lovely, and it looked even lovelier on her.  
She knew Tom could easily afford an extravagant wedding with bells and whistles and fireworks and champagne towers and anything else that would have made the occasion a real party, but she didn’t want that and he didn’t either. Instead, it would be a small affair with just their closest friends and family, only one attendant each.

Of course real life outside the wedding had been hectic. Madelyn had gone with Tom to the hospital as his nephew was born, little Theo Charles, and Tom had visited Wales twice to try the cakes and view the church. They had completed their counseling sessions with the minister, and they took time on the weekends packing away her flat and taking a few boxes to his place. James had volunteered to see the moving of her large furniture to Tom’s house while they were away on their honeymoon so they could return to a finished home. They had agreed it was best she not formally move in until after they were wed, and Madelyn relished in her last few nights alone. There were plenty of Saturday nights spend at the theater or cinema, and those usually led to sleepy Sunday mornings with a brief interlude for church. They continued their tradition of spreading out in the living room with books and papers and scripts and a plethora of pens all over the floor.

Over the course of one very short year, her life had changed. She was happy again, the happiest she had been in years, and it wasn’t just happiness. It was joy. When Elijah died, all the light seemed to fade from her life — what was her purpose? What was the point to all the pain?

Then Tom walked into her life. Tom, with his borrowed heart, saw such hope in everything. He smiled every time it rained because that meant more flowers would bloom and more grass would grow. He didn’t mind all the dog hair that covered his spectacular home because it meant the pets would be more comfortable in the warmer weather. He loved the sun and didn’t mind checking his beautiful bride’s skin for cancer as it ran in her family, and he would even let her trace every bit of his in search of any blemish. Madelyn never found any.

She finished schooling with the highest marks and top certificates. Tom had attended her ceremonies and clapped the loudest. He had been cast in a period drama shooting in London and Paris, and Madelyn had resolved there was no need for her to look for a job just yet. She was considering looking into literature, and perhaps writing a book of loss and life. Tom encouraged this, telling Madelyn that her story was unique and needed to be told.

Everything was changing, and she had never felt more alive.

———

Tom checked his cuffs as he looked in the mirror. The tightness in his chest worried him, but he figured it was just nerves. That worried him, too, because he never got nervous. In a few moments, he would marry the most wonderful woman in the world, and that should make him feel calm and content. All of this, he decided, was just typical wedding day jitters.

The June weather was the perfect blend of breeze and sun, the church was beautiful, and his suit fit just right. Benedict was right by his side, running the lint roller along his sleeves, even though it was spotless.

"I’m so excited for you, mate," Benedict said. "I’m so glad I get to be a part of your big day, and I am so happy."

"Thank you," Tom said. "I’m so glad you’re here. I remember all the days you spent at the hospital when you didn’t have to be, and the times you drove me to therapy."

"I know you would have done the same," Benedict said. "I love you, man."

Tom hugged his best friend tightly and felt tears fill his eyes. “I love you, too. To be honest with you, I wasn’t sure I would ever see this day, and I think I might have been right.”

Benedict jerked away, stunned by Tom’s confession and his pained expression.

———

"You look absolutely gorgeous, doll," Jane said, hugging Madelyn’s neck. "So beautiful, and everything is perfect."

Madelyn watched in the mirror as her mother clipped in her veil, a special cut made to match her grandmother’s antique dress. Madelyn really did feel amazing and gorgeous and wonderful, but she knew it had very little to do with the makeup, manicure, dress and stunning Manolo Blahniks. It had everything to do with the man who would be standing at the other end of the aisle, and the life they would create together.

She knew she should be nervous, but she wasn’t. When she looked at herself in the mirror, she no longer saw red blotches but blue hearts. Tom had in no way completed her life, but he had made it immensely better. And she would be his wife in a matter of minutes.

Her mother rounded Madelyn, Jane, little Chloe and Bev around for a bit of prayer, and even the sweet words didn’t sent Madelyn into a jolt of nerves. She was precisely where she was meant to be.

A knock on the door meant her father, and Madelyn smiled as she turned to greet him.

Only it wasn’t her father — it was Luke, and he wasn’t smiling.

"It’s Tom."

Madelyn felt her heart drop along with her bouquet, and she was running like she never ran in her life. There was no promenade as she charged down the aisle among their family and friends, and there were no smiles as she pushed open the small door at the front of the church. Tom was lying on the floor with his head in Benedict’s lap, one hand clutched to his chest, the other reaching for her. She fell to his side, and he smiled as she slid her hand in his.

"You look breathtakingly beautiful, my darling."

"Tom."

"Everything will turn out as it should."

"What’s happening? What’s wrong?" Madelyn asked, stroking Tom’s Armani covered chest with her free hand.

"I’m afraid my time has come," Tom said. "It’s so tight."

"We’ve called an ambulance," Benedict said.

"It’s too late,” Tom said. He brought Madelyn’s hand to his lips and kissed it one more time. "Ask for me tomorrow, and you shall find me a grave man. I am peppered, I warrant, for this world."

Madelyn chuckled in disbelief. “You’re quoting Shakespeare at a time like this?”

Tom raised his brow in that adorable way only he did, and Madelyn smiled as she held their hands against her cheek. “I do know him best. My time may be through here, but yours, my darling, is not. The past months with you have been the best I’ve ever known, and I would not trade a single minute for anything. We knew I was living on borrowed time, but I am so, so glad that even though there was pain and sadness, there was so much more joy and light.” His chest began to heave with his breaths. “Madelyn, I love you so much. Promise me you’ll live.”

"Oh, Tom!" She couldn’t even function more than that between the tears and the overwhelming sense of loss. This was supposed to be the best day of her life, and suddenly it was the worst. "My Tom, my love, my light."

Tom cried freely as he looked upon her face, and he cupped her cheek in his hand. “I will tell Elijah how lovely you are when I meet him.”

Madelyn sobbed as she buried her face against his chest, clinging to him. “Tom, don’t go.”

"I’m afraid I don’t have much choice, my darling," he said. "I am so sorry."

Madelyn kissed him, her tears falling onto his cheeks. She held onto him for as long as she could, and she felt it when he left his body. There was a sad peace, but a peace nonetheless.

Madelyn shot up in bed, looking around her bare bedroom. Everything had been removed but its bones, and the sheets were just as empty. Her room was a ghost now, and it felt as hollow as she did.

Covered in sweat, she threw back the covers and looked at her phone. She squealed as she saw the date — the wedding was a week away. Tom was still alive!

She pulled on shorts under her nightgown and slipped on her shoes. She needed to see him, and she needed to see him immediately. After the nightmare, she didn’t want to be parted from him except to use the restroom, and even then she wouldn’t mind leaving the door open. Tom had once run to her house in the middle of the night, and now she felt she needed to return the favor. She patted Damn Spot’s head as she grabbed her keys and headed out the door.

How long it had been since she had been up this early? They sun was just beginning to rise, casting an eerie pale orange across the city. Madelyn breathed in the crisp air as she found her stride. She was feeling good. Tom was alive, she was sure that it had just been a dream, and they would be married in a week. Everything would be okay.

Taking the streets at a much faster pace than she normally did, she was impressed to find herself quite far into her journey after a few moments. She could understand now why Tom got up so early to run — the conditions were perfect and the roads were empty. She rounded the corner and felt a bit out of breath. Madelyn wasn’t necessarily out of shape but she definitely wasn’t in it either. A jog would do.

A few minutes later and a sharp, stabbing pain in her side, she slowed to a walk. Tom was asleep, what difference did it make what time she got there? Maybe it was still a bit chilly for a nightgown and shorts. She was already halfway there so it would be stupid to turn around. And blast! She’d forgotten her phone. Madelyn sighed, maybe running out of her house in the early hours of the morning with little preparation hadn’t been the best thing to do.

And was everything really that orange? The sun was coming up but Madelyn hadn’t ever seen anything like this. She blinked which only made it worse. Everything was green and purple and orange and…fuzzy?

Woozy. That was the word she could equate with what she was feeling, and she put one hand on her head and the other on her hip. The pain in her side had gotten worse, and now she felt sick. Madelyn bent over just in time to see last night’s entire dinner spill out of her mouth and land on the concrete, and she had just enough sense to lean against the fence nearest to her.

Madelyn opened her eyes and saw the blue sky above her head. Tom’s eyes were blue. She smiled as everything faded to gray and then to black.


	12. Chapter 12

Tom knew his loved ones spent hours by his side, waiting restlessly while he would stir. The sterile, white walls seemed to be burned into his retinas and he didn’t enjoy being surrounded by them. He knew people had held his hand or brushed their fingers through his unruly hair and talked to him, even though he may not have been awake to realize it. So in turn, he did all these things for Madelyn. The machines connected to her beeped and hummed, and he hated the cannula stuck in her nose, mostly because he knew how much he hated it when it was in his nose. She looked pale and God knows she felt terrible, but she was alive.  
He had never been quite so frightened as he was when he found her in the fresh glow of morning, slumped against the fence and out cold a few blocks away from his house. He checked her pulse and praised God he found one. He noticed the state of her appearance and knew if someone else had found her, they might mistake her for a junkie prostitute, given the state of her nightgown and the vomit on her chin. Terrified, Tom scooped her up in his arms, sprinted back to his house and called an ambulance.

The doctor announced it was most likely kidney stones and dehydration, and they had hooked her up to an IV to get fluids back into her body. When she woke, they would take her for a scan to ensure it was only kidney stones and the fluids would help to purge them from her body. They also took some blood for several tests, and they said she should wake up at any time. He’d called her parents while he was waiting for any news from the doctor, and they were on their way from Wales.

He heard her take a deep breath and he looked up to see her blink several times. “Thank God you’re awake.”

She had a death grip on his hand when she saw him and tears immediately rolled down her pale face. “You’re here! Tom, you died! You died in my arms at our wedding! You’re alive!”

"Of course I’m alive, my darling," he said, as she leaned over her bed to hug him. "And I’m thrilled you are, too."

"You have no idea," she said, "it was so real. We were about to get married but your heart gave out and there was no time. Tom, I don’t want to lose you. I can’t."

"You won’t," he said, kissing her forehead. "I will be here as long as I can possibly manage. How about you? You’re in the hospital. Did you notice?"

Madelyn blinked as she looked at the room and then at her hand. Tom sat on the corner of the bed as he looked at her while she considered her surroundings.

"What happened?"

"I don’t know," Tom said. "I was out for my run this morning and I found you passed out against the fence. There was vomit, and you were just in your nightgown."

"The dream, Tom! I had to see you. I had to make sure you were okay."

Tom held her head against his chest while she cried and clutched onto his shirt, not unlike in the dream. Kissing her head, he quietly reassured her of all the things he felt and promised her of the things to come.

"Are you all right, my darling?"

Madelyn nodded. “I think so.”

"Let’s call the nurse so you only have to tell us what happened once," he said before pushing the button. She sat back against the bed and Tom slipped his hands in hers, waiting.

"Hello," the nurse said as she pulled open the curtain. "You’re Madelyn Miller, yes?"

"Yes," Madelyn answered. The nurse checked her date of birth and vital signs before proceeding. "You gave your fiancé quite the scare, you know?"

"Well, I didn’t mean to pass out," Madelyn said. She then told the story of the nightmare and running before everything went fuzzy. The nurse nodded while she typed on her tablet.

"You’re dehydrated," the nurse said, "but your blood levels look all right. We’ll get a doctor to check things over and then take you back for a scan. It’s probably best you not eat or drink anything just yet, but it shouldn’t take long."

"Thank you," Tom said.

"Why didn’t you just drive?"

"I don’t know," Madelyn said. "I felt too wired, I guess."

"I understand that," Tom laughed, kissing her forehead. Several minutes later the same nurse appeared and wheeled Madelyn down the hall for a scan, and Tom called her mother to give an update. They were both so relieved and Tom slumped in the chair, happy everything was all right.

He poured Madelyn a glass of water when they brought her back, and he quickly found himself giving her a second.

"I feel so thirsty, Tom."

"That’s because you are," Tom said. "What were you doing yesterday?"

"I stole Emma and we went shopping."

"And you were too excited to stay hydrated?"

"Well, maybe. And there’s just so much going on and I’m moving and thinking about a job, and I don’t know."

Tom laughed as he clapped her knee. “I’ll have to watch you better.”

He poured her another cup of water and he watched as the color slowly returned to her cheeks. The doctor stepped through the curtain and smiled.

"Miss Miller, I’m Doctor Haverford," she said. "It looks like you were dehydrated but you’re doing better. I want to keep you overnight to get you fully hydrated and see if the kidney stones cause any more problems. They don’t look big enough to need any treatment other than liquids, but it’ll help us monitor them if you’re here. There will be some pain as they pass but we’ll get you something mild to manage that. Otherwise, you and the baby will be just fine."

"Baby?"

"Yes, congratulations," Dr. Haverford said. "It’s too small to appear on the ultrasound, but it’s all there in your blood work. Pregnancy isn’t my specialty, but you’re under a month along if I had to guess."

"We’re going to have a baby?"

"Indeed," she said. "Anyway, I’ll get the nurse to start your transfer papers and we’ll get you into a room for the evening."

"Thank you so much," Tom said. "Really."

Dr. Haverford smiled as she left.

Madelyn clasped her hands over her belly, disbelief at the life growing there. She grinned at her fiancé, the father of her child as his hand slid between hers and they were both crying, only now it was joyful and full of laughs.

"I really am going to have to watch you better," Tom said softly, cupping her chin in between his fingers. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Madelyn said, leaning into him as he kissed her forehead.

———

A week later, Madelyn and Tom stood together at the front of the church, hand in hand in complete health and happiness. She smiled as he rubbed the backs of her hands with his thumbs and a grin spread across his face. They were here. They had made it. That was enough.

Of course neither one was naive enough to believe that a wedding meant anything, but it was about the marriage and the future they would have together. With an exchange of vows, a song, two rings and a kiss, they were wed. Neither cried a tear for there were far too many things to celebrate. Although they decided to keep the baby between the two of them until after the honeymoon, they were resplendently pleased to have the little secret. The day was already exciting and wonderful enough as it was.

They kissed happily and sweetly in the car ride from the church to Madelyn’s parents’ home, hands clutched around each other. They laughed, danced and ate, and the there were several speeches.

The last time so many of Madelyn’s family and friends had gathered at one place was for her brother’s funeral. An ending. But this — this occasion was full of light, flowers and laughter-a beginning.

Tom was beside himself as he glanced at his wife across the garden, laughing with some of her schoolmates from childhood. Looking absolutely divine in the vintage dress of her grandmother’s, she held her bouquet in one hand and the other rested absently across her tummy. Tom had noticed she was often touching it now, even if she wasn’t aware. He’d wondered if anyone else noticed, but she wasn’t showing and they opted not to serve alcohol as one man’s poor decision led to the absence of her brother’s presence. No one would even question it.

"You’ve made her so happy," Mr. Miller said. "It’s really brought life back into all of us to see her smile and laugh again."

"The pleasure, honor, and privilege is all mine," Tom said. "I love her very much."

"I know, son."

Tears welling in his eyes for the first time that day, Tom hugged his father-in-law, the man who had lost his only son. Of course Jane was married, but she had a family of her own and a reason a to continue living. She understandably had never been quite as close with Elijah as Madelyn either. When Tom met Madelyn, she had lost her brother, her twin, her passion for her career and her sense of being. Now, being with him, she had found her passion and herself again, and Tom was so blessed because of it.

Mr. Miller was in tears by the time they parted, but they both shrugged it off with a laugh. Tom went to go stay by his lovely bride.

In the early hours of the next morning, they lay tucked in white sheets with the Mediterranean breeze blowing through the open windows. Madelyn had allowed Tom to spare no expense with the honeymoon, which included a private jet to get them from Wales to Greece in a few short hours. The private villa was more than accommodating, and they found themselves in bed rather quickly upon arriving.

Tom ran his finger along her arm as he stared out the deep blue beyond the window while she traced the scar she loved down his chest.

"I meant it, you know," he said, "in my vow."

"I know."

Tom pulled her hand from his chest and lined his fingers with hers. “I promise to love you and honor you, to keep you and cherish you all my days. I will do my best to meet all your needs and fulfill any want. I will love our children, do my best to guide them, but I will make sure above all else they are loved. Time is precious, but as long as my heart continues to beat, I am yours.”

Madelyn giggled as she laced her fingers with his. “As long as your heart continues to beat.”

Tom kept his word. His borrowed heart gave them twenty-eight years, an exceptional amount of time for a heart transplant. It saw him though the birth of their four children, the birth of two grandchildren and three graduations from university and a blossoming music career. He received three Oscars, a Tony award and an Emmy, among with countless BAFTAs. He watched as his wife wrote several books on loss and won several awards, and he rejoiced with her when she became an academic counselor at Cambridge — eventually becoming the registrar. He was so proud of her and her accomplishments.

Madelyn wasn’t sad when Tom died. She would miss him, of course, but together they had lived such a full life. They made a home and a family and loved so deeply. They had laughed and cried, but they had lived. And there was no sadness in that.


End file.
